#MISHA COLLINS WHEN I CATCH YOU

[grxyveins]

Castiel declared his love and sacrificed himself to save Dean 😔😔😔😔😔

[deanbrainrotwritings]

— GIANTS IN THE OCEAN

SUMMARY : when jensen dresses as dean for halloween, he tried to prove that he can fuck like him when he’s told he doesn’t.

PAIRING : jensen ackles x latina!reader

CHARACTERS : misha collins, jared padalecki, genevieve padalecki

WARNINGS : nsfw (18+), smut, angst, fingering, defending wanda maximoff bc I’m whipped for her, switch!jensen & switch!reader

WORD COUNT : 3.4k

A/N : title from sky eats aeroplane’s song. procrastination, laziness, gah. anyway, it’s the destiny showcase so I’m doing nothing and I’m posting now LOL X

Jensen cleared his throat loudly from where he stood at the closet, trying to get his girlfriend's attention who was applying makeup as a part of her costume. She blinked the blurriness from her eyes and looked at him first from the mirror, then turned around with a raised brow at his costume of choice.

“Dean Winchester? Really? You’re not even trying,” she laughed softly, then returned to quickly finish up with her look. He deflated slightly, pouting as he made his way to her, he got down on his knees and sat back on his legs to admire her.

“Wanda isn't a hero, but Dean is,” he argued after giving some thought to how to respond to her comment. She squinted her eyes, giving him the side-eye, just then she finished up and then turned to face him. He blinked up at her innocently, green eyes wide and pretty, his lashes fluttering like a princess against his freckled cheeks.

She grasped his chin with her black-stained fingers, leaning forward so her red-tinted lips brushed against his, “as a mother, I have to disagree.” He blushed, but excitedly tried to lean forward to claim her lips only for her to pull away with a little tsk. “You’re so pretty like this, baby, on your knees for me like a good boy,” she murmured seductively, swiping her thumb across his pillowy lip.

“Don’t do this to me now,” he moaned, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose against hers. His hands clung tightly to her leather covered thighs and she turned her face slightly to kiss him with a playful smile on her lips. He slid his hands up her legs, grasping her hips to tug her forward, off the chair, and into his lap to deepen the kiss. “You’re so hot,” he mumbled when he pulled away just a bit to breathe. Then, he returned her mouth, hunger hidden beneath each quick peck he gave her.

“So are you, Jay,” she replied softly, pulling away and placing her finger on his lips when he chased her mouth for more kisses. “Especially when you’re dressed as Dean Winchester.” She smirked down at him and his pretty, puckered, pink lips. He gazed at her curiously, a little surprised by her admission. He didn’t have time to respond or to even let that information sink in because he instinctively shut his eyes when she leaned forward quickly to place open-mouthed kisses along his neck.

“Fuck,” he whispered, his breathe catching in his throat when she reached down and started to rub his semi-hard cock over his jeans. “Baby, I don’t wanna get to Jared’s party with my dick hard,” he groaned, his voice deep with lust, breathy and hot. She felt her pussy tingle, a wave of heat and arousal starting to build up between her legs.

“Then, let’s get going before I fuck you here on the floor, yeah? Dean?” She looked down at him innocently, mimicking what he’d done earlier. He shook his head at her, his cock stirring in the tight confines of his jeans at being called Dean. However, with the Scarlet Witch costume she was wearing, it was a little scary but in a hot way. “Now, get your dick soft, my mom’s downstairs with the kids.”

Y/N stood up from Jensen’s lap, getting a matching crossbody bag that was small and didn’t get in the way of her costume. Jensen stayed on the floor for a while, trying to get his mind out of the gutter and get his excitement under control before he got up. Embarrassingly so, she was leaning against the doorway with a smug smile just watching him try to recollect himself.

“Please, Y/N, don’t judge me,” he said playfully, holding his palm up to stop her from looking at him. She chuckled, pushing her body off the doorframe to start walking away, Jensen following right behind.

“I’m pretty sure she calls me names in Spanish,” he blurted out, scratching the back of his neck.

“Pftt, no she doesn’t,” Y/N said unconvincingly, “besides, there’s a difference between my kids and my husband,” she added, shrugging nonchalantly, a grin fighting it’s way onto her lips despite how hard she bit it.

Okay, maybe she did call him names, but they were meant affectionately. And mostly it was names relating to his freckles or his green eyes that were too hilarious or accurate for her to stop her mom from calling him even when he was right there. Like a codename girls use for their crushes or people they dislike.

“You said she liked me!” He exclaimed quietly, grabbing her arm to twirl her around and pull her into his chest.

“She does! I’m messing with you, baby,” she promised, leaning up to kiss the worry from his face. “You’re perfect and she knows that,” Y/N said earnestly, cupping his face in her hands, “she knows you’re an amazing husband and an even better father. I love you so much. I swear, no, I promise you, she likes you too. She told me you were a keeper, Jay.” She looked up at him with the widest, in-love-with-you eyes he just couldn’t help the way it immediately made him relax.

“She did?” He asked softly, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Y/N nodded, her own arms circling around his neck. “I was in love with you from the start and she knew it. She saw everything that you were and she convinced me to go for it before someone else whisked you away. Thanks to her, you’re mine.” Y/N leaned up to kiss him again, softly, tenderly.

“Thanks to her, you’re mine,” Jensen corrected quietly. “Sorry, didn’t mean to get so insecure,” he chuckled, brushing her cheek with his fingers lovingly.

“I shouldn’t have said that as a joke, I’m sorry too.” She grabbed his hand and kissed it softly, “let's get out of here.” He kissed her forehead and nodded in agreement, letting her lead all the way downstairs to greet her mother and say goodbye to their children.

“Dean and Wanda?” Misha asked, taking a large sip of his beer. “What a strange couple, but the two of them are crazy about family so…” he smiled broadly, hugging them both. Y/N laughed, squeezing Misha’s side as Jensen patted his back.

“And you’re.. the Mandalorian, but without your helmet on…” Jensen chuckled, pulling away first to ruffle Misha’s already messy hair.

“How else am I supposed to drink beer and eat candy?” He shouted over the music, then dragged the two of them inside to allow people an easier way in. Misha led them into the kitchen, talking about how he’d somehow lost his Grogu toy somewhere in Jared’s house. “Anyway, go crazy you two.. but not as crazy as the people you’re dressed up as,” Misha teased, patting them both on their heads before making his way somewhere else to have fun.

“Well..” Jensen chuckled as he watched Misha leave.

“I love him,” she said happily, then started to put together Jensen’s drink.

“Same,” Jensen smiled, watching her with a loving look. “So… about what you were saying earlier… about me dressing up as Dean? Did you mean that?” He asked, leaning against the counter, attempting to be completely cool about his question, trying not to give away that it's something he’d considered for a while: role playing as Dean during sex.

“Yes?” She confirmed hesitantly, handing him the Old Fashion she’d prepared then started to make her own drink. “Why? Got something naughty in mind?” She asked, glancing up at him every now and then, seeing the blush on his face either from the heat of the house filled with mostly strangers or from whatever was going on in his mind.

“Always,” he grinned bravely, taking a large gulp of the whiskey for his sudden bashfulness. She raised a brow at him, her interest piqued, placing a few gummy worms into her already sweet drink.

“You gonna tell me or show me?” She asked, stepping forward as he took another sip. He choked on it a little, glanced around for anybody who could be watching or listening. At that time, she took a gummy worm and dangled it in front of him playfully. He obediently opened his mouth and let her push the gummy worm inside, the sweet and sour taste making him hum softly in satisfaction.

“Well, I-I was just gonna make a suggestion,” he stuttered, his mouth slightly full with the chewed up candy. He swallowed quickly when she licked her fingers lasciviously, just as he reached behind her to steal a bag of gummy bears.

“I think…” she murmured, hooking her fingers onto his belt loops and tugging him forward. “I think you should honour your costume and show me. Here.” He blinked down at her, his eyes wide and completely astounded at her bold words.

“Shit,” he muttered, his face a bright red colour. “Are you ovulating?”

“Shut up,” she laughed, the spell of wantonness suddenly broken. She took the bag of gummy worms she opened and started to walk away from him, carefully weaving through the dancing and sweaty bodies with her drink.

He downed the rest of the whiskey, knowing he’d definitely need it if she was going to keep it up with the hot flirting. He carefully dumped his cup into the sink then tried to follow her, only to lose her in the literal sea of bodies, salty and heavy. He easily found Jared even in his Green Arrow costume, standing high above most of the people. He was dancing and laughing with Gen, who was dressed as Wonder Woman, the two of them were talking to someone Jensen didn’t know.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt,” Jensen said politely, turning to Jared. The man was kind and smiled at Jensen, standing off to the side to let Jensen have a quick chat with Jared and Gen. “Have you guys seen Y/N? I sorta lost her. Great costumes by the way,” Jensen rushed out, anxiously trying to get them to respond.

“Hey, Jensen!” Jared’s voice boomed, pulling him into a tight hug, drawing a wheeze from Jensen, which made Genevieve smack him. Jared pulled away and pouted at her, rubbing his arm dramatically but then became serious to focus on Jensen’s question.

“Yeah, she went upstairs with Misha, said it was a bit loud for her,” Gen replied, then made a little ‘oomph’ sound when Jensen hugged her quickly and said a quick thanks to them. Jared and Genevieve looked at each other curiously then got distracted by that same man who joined back in to continue their conversation.

Jensen knew that wasn’t actually the case, but he went upstairs anyway. Couples were kissing loudly and groping each other along the staircase, but upstairs must have been off limits because there was basically no one, just Misha waiting outside one of the doors while holding Y/N’s drink.

“Jensen! She’s using the restroom. Also, this is really sweet,” Misha laughed, handing Jensen the drink so he could try it. Jensen smiled and took the glass, lovingly looking at the colourful drink and the sugar rimmed edge, gummy worms swimming around inside. He shook his head as he thought of Y/N and tried the drink, which set his senses alight, his mouth overwhelmed by the sweetness and the barley-there flavour of vodka.

“Fuck, that’s…” Jensen licked his lips and Misha laughed, stepping aside when Y/N stepped out of the restroom. “Hey, honey. You okay?” She smiled and nodded at them, about to take her drink back, but Jensen pulled it back. She frowned, about to argue, but then he handed it to Misha. “Get rid of it, it’s just gonna give her a headache.” It was the truth, but he’d mostly tasked Misha with it so he could be alone with Y/N.

“Hey!” She whined, trying to walk past Jensen, which only excited Misha. Jensen wrapped his arms around her, stopping her from chasing their beloved friend, holding her close so she instantly started to melt into him.

“No, he’s right,” Misha chuckled, making a break for it. “You eat too much candy and you always get headaches!” Misha had already made it downstairs and he’d definitely be dumping that drink for the monstrosity that it was.

“Were you making me flustered on purpose?” He asked, getting straight to the point. She moved her face from where it was lazily pressed against his arm and gazed up at him, once again, still somehow being able to portray innocence with the dark eyeshadow around her eyes. “Why?”

She huffed softly, a little grin on her face, “because you’re not like Dean when it comes to sex and I think it’s funny to tease you.” She kissed him softly, quickly with her sticky lips, not giving him a chance to kiss her back properly. He just licked his lip from the sugar her lips smeared onto his.

“You think I’m… boring?” He asked, sounding a little confused. He wondered if maybe this was her way of telling him things were a little too vanilla and she needed more, more excitement, more spice, more than he could offer.

“No! God, no, Jay! Why does your mind always go there?” She wondered, holding his face. He grabbed her wrists, pushing her gently into the wall with his body.

“I love you…” he murmured, kissing her forehead. “I just want to make you happy.” He moved her hands away from his face and pinned them together holding them both above her head in one hand.

“I love you.. and you always make me happy,” she replied softly. Her eyes widened slightly when he started to tug her leather pants down her legs. “I’m not wearing any underwear,” she blurted out, biting her lip with a blush heating up her face. He stopped for a moment, a smirk growing on his lips before he continued pulling them down.

“If I touch you in this hallway…” he whispered, kissing her lips swiftly. “Will I be more like Dean?” He stared into her eyes, saw her surprise and the thrill that made her chest rise and fall faster. His eyes flickered down between her legs, where she was indeed lacking underwear, and he let the pants hang low around her thighs.

“I want you. Not Dean,” she mumbled with a little pout, spreading her legs impatiently when he slowly trailed his fingers up the inside of her thighs. He squeezed her thigh, chuckling against her mouth when he leaned in to kiss her, gently pushing his teeth into her pillowy lip.

“But you also want Dean, you said so. I can give you that, it sounds hot.” He tapped the apex of her thigh teasingly, his dick getting harder with the way she squirmed against the wall. The walls vibrated from the loud music, the pictures and paintings on the wall shaking to the bass of the music. “So.. Do you want Dean, just for tonight? Then, we can see if we should do it more often…”

“Jensen, please,” she pleaded, twisting her hands impatiently, half-heartedly trying to get out of his grip.

“Mm-mm,” he shook his head, quickly swiping two fingers through her wet folds. “It’s Dean, sweetheart.” His voice dropped slightly and his accent suddenly went away. She stared up at him, flustered and hot.

“D-Dean?” She stuttered shyly, grinding down on his fingers.

“Just.. a little more confident,” he smirked, moving his fingers to circle her clit torturously. She gasped, letting her head fall back against the wall with a quiet thud. The leather tightened around her thighs, preventing her from spreading her legs and she whined.

“Please,” she begged again, jutting her hips out so he’d stop teasing her.

“Not until you say my name, baby,” he murmured, then tapped her clit with his fingers a few times. She groaned in annoyance, her toes curling inside the boots she wore, her newly-dyed copper hair sticking to her face, from sweat that built up among the dancing people and now with Jensen’s teasing.

He pulled his hand away, but she didn’t stop squirming. Her eyes fluttered shut, thinking he’d stop teasing her by touching her and instead tease her by not touching her, but she gasped when he slapped her pussy. Her eyes snapped open and she looked up at him in surprise, a smug smile on his pink face.

She liked it and he knew it.

“Be a good girl and beg for it,” he mumbled, his voice deep and vibrating. When he rubbed his fingers against her heat, she knew it was just to prepare her for another slap. And as she’d expected, when she took too long to respond, he slapped her wet cunt again. The rough slap sent jolts of pleasure through her clit, causing her to moan.

“Please… Dean,” she whispered.

“That wasn’t so hard,” he praised mockingly, bringing two fingers to her entrance, “was it?” He slowly pushed them into her, but his lip to stop a moan when he felt her pussy clench around his fingers.

“No.. Dean,” she panted, lowering her hips to sink down his fingers faster. He laughed quietly at her eagerness and started to pump his fingers in and out of her, her slick already coating most of his fist.

“Jesus, baby, you’re so fucking wet.” He sounded breathless, his fingers tightened around her wrists and he plunged his fingers into her faster, flattening his palm onto her clit so it would grind onto it every time his fingers were buried deep inside her. His fingers curled against her walls, brushing over and over against the spongy surface inside that made her legs shake. A loud moan tore from her throat and he pressed his hips against her to grind his cock against her. “Who made you this wet, huh, sweetheart?”

“You…” she moaned, whining when he bit her jawline. “You, Dean,” she cried softly. He kissed her jaw lovingly and found her lips again to silence her moans as best as he could, even if no one could hear them over the loud music downstairs.

“Are you gonna cum on my fingers?” He teased, his warm breath fanning over her face. She bit her lip and nodded, her pussy tightening around his fingers. “You’re gonna moan my name when you cum,” he ordered, his nose tracing down the side of her face, nuzzling her neck to suck gently at her pulse point. “Say yes,” he murmured, gently nibbling on her earlobe.

“Yes, Dean,” she panted, shuddering when his warm breath made her sweat feel cool. He pulled away when he noticed her becoming tense, stared at her face and watched her eyes flutter open on cue.

“Cum for me, baby,” he whispered, admiring the way her swollen lips parted to moan—squeal—‘Dean’, her brows furrowed in pleasure as her orgasm moved through her body. Her eyes were pretty and wide, glossed over with a haze of lust and whiny unshed tears.

He let go of her wrists but she only wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and brought him down for a passionate kiss that made him breathless. Behind his eyelids, he could still see that beautiful look on her face and he ground his hips against her thigh, wrapping his arm around her with his fingers now slowly moving in and out of her, gently palming her clit as her walls fluttered around his fingers.

When she came down from her orgasm, he gently continued to palm her clit, in a comforting manner now. He dropped kisses over her face and moved her hair out of her face lovingly, before withdrawing both from her cunt and from her body to admire her postorgasmic glow.

“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart,” he said softly, his eyes flickering down to watch her lift her pants up her weak and shaky legs. “I’m not done with you yet, angel,” he reminded her with a little chuckle, looking down at his cum covered fingers, he rubbed them together curiously.

“We both know Dean is a sub,” she grabbed him by his flannel and pulled him into the closest room. He smirked at her words and let her lead as she shut the door and locked it blindly, focused on the searing kiss she distracted him with. With one hand he grabbed her waist and with the other he started to undo his belt eagerly.

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[maniacwatchestheworld]

So today I decided to do some looking around and catch up on what's going on over at dc-tournaments. And I do find it exceedingly funny how Danny Phantom somehow managed to win the "Fuck this guy in particular" tournament! But it got me thinking. Apparently by hanging out and generally staying in the Rogues space, it's made me largely bypass the whole DPxDC thing. Like, I pretty much live in the Harvey Dent tag these days, and the Misha Collins stuff is a lot more intrusive than any DCxDP stuff (and I don't really mind the Misha Collins stuff either). And at this point, Misha Collins comes into the Harvey Dent tag... Oh... Around 1 time a week to 2 times a month by my estimate...? I can't even tell you the last time a Danny Phantom thing came into the Harvey Dent tag... Probably had to do with Jason though lol.

But as someone who occasionally relapses back into the Danny Phandom, I do get it. I've been there with you guys! I'm just getting to see these current messes from the other side lol! You all have to entertain yourselves somehow, and so crossovers have been your latest, largest way to cope! Completely get that. But what are you guys even up to over there? Can you guys point me towards some good stuff? I'm curious what y'all are up to these days! But I do feel like y'all's are under-utilizing the rogues lol.

Personally Vlad has always been much more of my hyperfixation character of choice in the Danny Phandom. I just like the stuff going on with Jack, Maddie, and Vlad more than the main trio, personally. So even when I've been looking for Phandom stuff these days, you lot aren't incorporating Maddie/Jack/Vlad (the superior ship!) into your DC AUs, so I'm not getting any of it! It makes me feel like starting a shit storm of my own with none of the Danny Phantom stuff I like reaching me over here in my little DC hole right now and everyone else in the DC fandom screaming about how intrusive Danny Phantom has been in their tags! Who knows. Maybe I'll just start shipping Vlad/Two-Face just to be a wierdo in my little hole lol.

[fandomtherapy44]

castiel x reader

Summary: This story is from the perspective of Y/n Winchester. The sister Of Dean and Sam. We will be starting from season four since sadly we did not get Misha Collins as Castiel throughout the whole series. It will start off as a friendship, but it will grow more as the series goes on. I will be skipping some episodes even though they are great episodes they do not push the story forward. I am so excited to get to write this since they are not many Castiel X reader stories out there. Okay without further due Love War & Grace enjoy the Story.

Paring: Castiel X Reader

Word count: 6,948

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season four of Supernatural

Chapter 1: Lazarus Rising

POV: Y/n

 Four months, four grueling long months since I had to, I had to bury my brother. My oldest brother who has always been there for me and my other older brother Sam. That's the thing about us Winchesters we will always save each other. No matter what even if that means giving up our soul for the other, that's what Dean did to save Sam. I still remember that night as clearly as Crystal Sam had gone missing.

  He had just walked into a little diner to get us some greasy food for us to make to the next crap motel. I now regret not taking it and truly enjoy the same everyday banter that I got from Sam and Dean. Because the next moment everyone was dead in that small simple diner and Sam was missing, sulfur powder being only left. leaving Dean and me knowing precisely what it was. The next day was a blur getting Bobby’s help and finding out what had happened to the roadhouse and Ash and not even knowing if Ellen was in the wreckage. When we found out where Sam was, I got this rush of hope and peace that everything was going to be okay. I should have known with our lives nothing really happens to inspire those feelings.

Dean was breaking every speed limit to get there of course he was he would for anyone he loved. As soon as the Impala had screeched to a stop, I jumped out running towards the town. Hearing Sam’s voice grunting I ran faster than I ever thought I could. There he was standing as the tall giant that he was hurt but okay. Dean was not that far behind and together we called his name together “Sammy!” “Sam!”. 

  Then I saw that goofy smile fall off his face as the blade had made its way into his back. In that second it was like the world had stopped and the sounds around me had turned into static. All that I did was fall down on my knees sobbing and screaming “SAM NO!”. Bobby came up behind me and hugged me and whispered “It’s okay’’ trying to hold himself back to be strong for his kids because to me Bobby had always taken more care of us than John had done.

Then there was Dean holding Sam again like he was just that little baby again, feeling like he had failed his father whose words ran through his head at 100 miles saying” YOU HAD ONE JOB PROTECT SAM AND Y/N” and he couldn’t even do that he thought. The next few hours didn’t even feel like that time had passed. 

All I focused on was Sam like he was just taking a nap and would wake up saying that he could use some coffee not from the motel room. I didn’t hear Dean and Bobby talking or Bobby leaving. I knew Dean was destroying himself. I just didn’t think he would practically do it. Since my eyes would not leave Sam at all.

I felt Dean kissing my head saying he would be back and the door slamming behind him and the impala roaring away. I just sat there thinking why me, why my family, why did we have to suffer for others to live? Like God had heard me Sam sprung up and gasping for air like he was trying to catch up to the air that had left when it was replaced with that blade. I knew as soon Sam came back, I knew what Dean had done I wanted to cry all over again.

 I wanted to scream and hit him, but I understood why he did it. Because he is Dean Winchester, and he would do anything for his little brother and sister. When Sam found out he was rightfully pissed and told Dean we would find a way out and Dean quietly dismissed it knowing not for everything he ever wanted he would let that happen. 

The next year we fought and killed demons and monsters, as usual, Sam kept on saying that we would get Dean out. I was already trying to grieve Dean so it wouldn't hit me as much. The Night it happened it didn’t matter that I tried to prepare, it was like deja vu from the year before. Instead, this time we had lost the one person who promised he would always protect us.

 And that was a year and four months ago but it feels like a lifetime. So here I am pushing around a four-wheel cart one wheel squeaky and me going down the booze aisle to see my best friends Jack and Daniel. These last few months Bobby and I have turned his house into a bar just without the creepy desperate men and smoke smell.

 It seems without Dean Im falling apart he would always make sure I would not drink too much well look at me now hope your proud big bro. When I’m standing in the check out these three little kids run past me. The little sister trips and starts to cry then the big brother comes and scoop’s her up telling her she will be fine. It was like looking in a mirror. I should start going to a new grocery store, so I don’t have to cry every time I drive back. Who am I kidding I would cry anyways.

“Hey Bobby, could you help me with the rest? They had a sale on our favorites so I got a lot” I came in, set the bag on the counter, and got a beer out. “y/n” “Today there was a-” “Y/n!” “What?” I turn around and I drop the beer. It’s like my dreams and nightmares from the past four months had all come true at once. There standing was Dean. 

I grab my silver knife and swing the knife at the monster who thought it would be a good day to try me today. “y/n! It’s me” he blocks me and I turn around and kick him square in the chest.  “Well, at least you've gotten better at fighting” I scream at him and punch him down getting ready to stab the monster. “y/n! It’s him It’s him!” Bobby says, grabbing me back. At this point, I'm about ready to stab Bobby. I'm so angry. 

“It’s me y/n if it wasn’t how would I know that when you were younger and got stood up on your first date you called me to pick you up and made me promise to never tell anyone and we egged the idiot’s house that stood you up after”. I feel the anger start to leave my body and my eyesight starts to become more clear. “Dean?’’ “Yes Y/n it’s me’’ I drop my knife and hug him so tight that he loses his breath for a second.

I am just staring at Dean wondering how my prayers got answered. “Hey y/n I missed you too but your starring and making me feel like I have a giant zit.’’ Bobby answers for me. ”well can you blame her Dean your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop, and you'd been buried four months.  Even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit -’’ Dean looked like he had been made in a Barbie factory, everything perfect none of his scars were there that he had. ‘’I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject.’’ Dean said.

 “What do you remember?’’ I asked. I don't want to hear his answer, but I need to know. ’’Not much. I remember I was a Hellhound's chew toy, and then... lights out. Then I come to six feet under, that was it. Sam's number's not working. He's, uh... he's not…’’  Then I get a little annoyed hearing Sam’s name since he really hasn’t been calling me back. 

“Oh I know he’s alive I make him send me his location every week and I told him if he didn’t I would drag his ass back here myself’’. I had already lost one brother I was not going to lose another without even knowing it. I pull at my phone and look at the last message. ’’We haven't really talked but that’’. 

Dean looks angry ’’You're kidding, you just let him go off by himself?’’. I answered him “He was dead set on it.’’ Dean then looks at us both like we had betrayed him ’’you guys should've been looking after him.’’ Bobby then defends us as he should. ’’we tried. These last months haven't been exactly easy, you know. For all of us. We had to bury you.’’ Dean of course questioned why he was buried ’’Why did you bury me, anyway?’’

 I hesitated to answer because I knew what he would think ’’We wanted you salted and burned. Usual drill. But... Sam wouldn't have it.’’ ‘’ Well, I'm glad he won that one’’ I hope he doesn't jump to conclusions that were not good. ‘’He said you'd need a body when he got you back home somehow. That's about all he said.’’ And by his look, I knew Dean had jumped to a bad conclusion. Now Dean looked worried ’’Oh, damnit, Sammy.’’ Oh no, I thought.

’’What’’ Bobby asked. ‘’Oh, he got me home okay. But whatever he did, it is bad mojo.’’ I tried to stop his jumping. ‘’What makes you so sure?’’ Dean never looked so sure in his life. ’’You should have seen the grave site. It was like a nuke went off. And then there was this... this force, this presence, I don't know, but it, it blew past me at a fill-up joint. And then this.’’ He pulled up his sleeve and there was this branding of a hand mark on his shoulder.

Bobby and I were both shocked.’’It was like a demon just yanked me out. Or rode me out.’’Bobby questions when I already knew what he was thinking ’’But why’’.’’ To hold up their end of the bargain.’’ Dean says a matter of factly.’’You think Sam made a deal.’’ Bobby said.  “It's what I would have done.’’ ’’ We don’t know it was that it could have been something good.’’ I said with the hope he might think with it for once ‘’Come on y/n when has it ever been something good.’’ of course.

Dean looked all over our makeshift bar. ’’Like we said it’s been some difficult months’’ I said trying to defend us. ‘’ You never drank this much before’’ I kind of just laugh it off. '’well when both of your brothers die in horrible ways, I don’t think there is much else to do.’’ Dean looks hurt for a second.’’ Y/n-’’ “It’s okay Dean let’s just find Sam’’ I say, giving A small smile to him. ‘’ Ok, he answers with hesitation. 

‘’Ok, his location is Pontiac, Illinois. He should still be there I just got this text yesterday.’’ Dean looked a little shocked.’’ Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois.’’ Bobby realizes it too.’’ Right near where you were planted.’’ ‘’ Right, where I popped up. Hell of a coincidence, don't you think?’’ We all get ready to go and I take a moment to myself still trying to process Dean's back from Hell and that someone has to be listening in heaven …right?   

 We all walk down this dingy little motel hall and I would not be surprised if there are some mystery stains on it. We Knock on the door and a young woman answers looking at us like we're missing something.’’So where is it?’’ she asked. We all look confused at each other. “Where's what?’’ I asked with a kind smile. She looked annoyed. ’’The pizza... that takes three people to deliver?’’ when Dean realizes no way this is Sam’s room said ’’I think we got the wrong room.’’ Then we hear the voice that belonged to my other brother who acted like he was dead and never would respond to me.

’’Hey is…’’ Sam looks at Dean like he saw a ghost which would not be a crazy theory for us. Dean being Dean says ‘’Heya, Sammy’’ Sam looks happy For a Second then he attacks Dean.’’Who are you?! Sam shouted. Then Dean shouted back “Like you didn't do this?!’’ then we hear his response and it was the happiest then I've been in a while.’’Do what?!’’ I step in before they start swiping knives again. ’’It's him. It's him. We've been through this already, it's really him.’’

  They both step back stare and then hug like seeing each other for the first time in a while which was true. Sam stares at Dean wondering what we all did. ’’I know. I look fantastic, huh?’’ They hug more. Then I think for the woman this must be so confusing.’’So are you two like... together?’’ I answered for them.’’NO no, we are all siblings.’’ Then it got awkward. ’’Uh... got it. I... I guess. Look, I should probably go.’’ Sam suddenly remembers that he was on a ‘’date’’ with her walks her to the door.’’ So call me’’ she said hopefully. Then more sympathy comes from me when Sam said ’’Yeah. Yeah, sure thing, Kathy.’’ she said back ‘’Kristy’’ dang sorry Kathy that just happens when dating a hunter oops sorry I mean Kristy. Sam answers awkwardly ’’right’’.

I can already tell Dean wants to rip into Sam.’’So tell me, what'd it cost?’’ Sam looks amused’ “The girl?” I don't pay, Dean.’’ I grimace a little at that line. ’’That's not funny, Sam. To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?’’ Sam looks offended’ “You think I made a deal?’’ I spoke up ’’That's exactly what they think. Sam, please tell them you didn’t.’’ I said when tears start building up .’’Well, I didn't.’’ I got relieved. Dean of course does not believe him.” “Don't lie to me.’’ Dean keeps on going. ”So what now, I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch-boy? I didn't want to be saved like this.’’ 

Then Sam said something that broke my heart all over again. ’’Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, all right?’’ I get angry. ”What do you mean you wished you had gotten to deal!?”. Dean grabs Sam again. ’’There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!’’ ‘’I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry.’’ Dean let Sam go. ’’It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you.’’ I speak up again. ’’Great Sam still has his Soul, Sam What if you had dealt with it? Did you ever think about what it would do to me again!?’’ Sam finally looks at me. ”y/n Im sorry it's just I couldn't let Dean die.’’ ‘’ What and you're any better to die!?” I don’t let him answer and I storm out and slam the door behind me.

I ran out of the motel trying to not scream out so people wouldn't think I was insane. So instead I kicked the Impala. I didn't care at that moment. I slid down the car just crying. Sadly I knew why Sam had done it hell I might have done it myself if Bobby and I weren’t busy keeping up our bar. And it’s like someone knew that I was in distress and put their hand on me calmly. It’s a little bit funny with the job I do because before Dean died I didn't really believe in heaven, angels, God. But I thought why not try. I mean it might be possible, demons were real. So I prayed to something and it looked like something answered back. 

Sam’s POV:

The boys all were silent for a Second after she left the room Dean speaks first. ’’You know she’s right it’s not any better if you die, to her were some of her only family left and you didn’t call her back what was more important than your little sister!’’ Sam looked irritated ’’I was grieving you Dean I was trying to not totally destroy myself, so I needed some time away I'm sorry.’’ Sam said lying straight through his teeth wishing that Dean doesn't notice it. ‘’Well yeah, but I'm not the one you need to say sorry to.’’ 

Y/n’s POV:

I walked back to the room calming myself so that as soon I walked in, I wouldn't slap Sam. I walk into Dean picking up a lacy bra and saying. ’’Oh yeah. I really feel your pain.’’  They all stare at me like a deer in headlights. ’’So, this is why you couldn't pick up the phone because ‘’Kathy’’ needed a bra fitting.’’ I said ready to slap Sam again, calm be damned. Sam gets the guts and looks at me ’’y/n I'm sorry I was just grieving, and I needed to have some time to myself and for the deal, it was right after I was running high on emotions, and now realize how dumb I was, and how happy I am it didn't work.’’ I look up at his goofy smile and bring him in for a hug. “You're forgiven but don't ever do it again. And I hope you all know it hurts just as well if any of you would God forbid die, I love you all.’’  They all get smiles and responded back. ’’love you too y/n.’’

“So, I was checking these demons out of Tennessee, and out of nowhere they took a hard left, booked up here.’’ And Dean asked what we were all thinking. ’’When?’’ Sam answered back’ “Yesterday morning.’’ Again, the dots started to connect ’’When Dean busted out’’ I said. Bobby speaking for all of us said '' You think these demons are here 'because of you?’’ ‘’But why?’’ Sam said. I felt like I was in an episode of Scooby Doo but instead of pulling a mask off a monster with some teenagers and a talking dog, we were trying to figure out what pulled Dean out of hell.

’’Well, I don't know – some badass demon drags me out, and now this? It's gotta be connected somehow.’’ I don’t blame Dean for saying that because it usually is something bad but for once it might be something good well I'm hoping it is.’’How you feelin', anyway?’’ Bobby asked. Dean being Dean again answered ’’I'm a little hungry.’’ I laugh at that I missed his humor. ’’No, I mean, do you feel like yourself? Anything strange, or different?’’ Bobby said a little annoyed at his answer. ’’Or demonic? Bobby, how many times do I have to prove I'm me?’’ Dean said. 

‘’Listen, Dean, we believe you but no demon's letting you loose out of the goodness of their hearts. They've gotta have something nasty planned.’’ I said trying to comfort him. ’’Well, I feel fine.’’ Dean said putting his defenses back down.

’’Okay, look, we don't know what they're planning. We got a pile of questions and no shovel. We need help.’’ Sam says and he was right we were all lost on what happened.” I know a psychic. A few hours from here. Something this big, maybe she's heard the other side talking.’’ Bobby said he always seems to have an answer for anything. ’’I think it’s worth a shot it has to’’ I say with a little ambition.’’ Hell yeah, it's worth a shot.’’ Dean answered back.

 Bobby gets up to call the psychic and leaves the room. Dean gets up to follow him, but Sam stops him” Hey, wait You probably want this back ’’He gives him back the amulet that he always wore no matter the day. Sam wanted me to have it when he died but I couldn't. I just couldn't. “Thanks” Dean said looking happy that his little brother would keep it. ’’Hey Dean, what was it like?’’ 

Sam asked what Bobby and I had both asked, but I still had this small inkling that Dean could lie about it. ’’What, Hell? I don't know, I, I must have blacked it out. I don't remember a damn thing.” Dean said again and it’s like he's performing a line to confirm it to himself. ’’Well, thank God for that.’’ Sam said happily that his brother didn't remember hell. Dean answered a small ’’yeah’’ back and I got a chilling feeling that he was not telling us everything.

Dean and I were in the room. He was in the bathroom splashing water on his face and I was making some crappy motel coffee. When I walk past the bathroom he was just staring at himself in Which looks like confusion. In that instant, I wish that he was truly okay and that he was not putting up a front for his little brother and sister.

Bobby got the okay from the physic for us to come. ’’She's about four hours down the Interstate. Try to keep up.’’ Bobby said making me laugh he always did. ’’I assume you'll want to drive.’’ Sam said tossing Dean the keys. We all get in baby like nothing ever did change. ”What the hell is that?’’ I look at the middle of the console and try to hold back my laugh but fail.’’That Dean is the newest iPod jack it looks like Sammy turned baby into a frat car.’’ I said laughing uncontrollably. ” shut it y/n.’’ 

Dean said half joking half serious.’’You were supposed to take care of her, not douche her up.’’ Dean now looks betrayed at a whole different level now. ’’Dean, I thought it was my car.’’ Sam said. Then Dean starts baby up and I laugh even more as Vision starts playing and Dean looks with the most annoyed saying “Really”. Then he throws it back, almost hitting me.” Hey watch it you don’t to damage Sammy’s frat playlist”. I said laughing with a smile for the first time in a while.

It’s been about an hour on the road trip, and I take in every second like it’s last as I make a promise to myself to never take these two for granted again. ’’There's still one thing that's bothering me.’’

Dean said. Sam and I both said ’’Yeah?’’. ’’Yeah, the night that I bit it. Or... got bit.’’ Dean said with a bit of a chuckle I personally think it's too soon for those jokes. ’’How'd you guys make it out? I thought Lilith was going to kill you.’’ He said looking at Sam. ’’Well, she tried. She couldn't.” Dean looks puzzled.

Sam spoke again. ”She fired this, like, burning light at me, and... didn't leave a scratch. Like I was immune or something.’’ ‘’Yeah, and Sam jumped in front of me to protect me from the blast.” I say to answer how I was here. ’’Immune?’’ Dean questioned. ’’Yeah. I don't know who was more surprised, her or us. She left pretty fast after that.’’

Then Dean brings Ruby up. ”Huh. What about Ruby, where is she?” Sam answered. ”Dead. For now.” I secretly celebrated that in my head.’’So you've been using your, uh, freaky ESP stuff?” Sam answered a little too fast for my liking.”No”. ”You sure about that? Well, I mean, now that you've got... immunity, whatever the hell that is... just wondering what other kind of weirdo crap you've got going on.” Dean inquired about that and I don't blame him. ”Nothing, Dean. Look, you didn't want me to go down that road, so I didn't go down that road. It was practically your dying wish.’’ Sam said making sure to shut that down. Dean needed to be sure said ”Yeah, well, let's keep it that way.’’ Now why did I get that feeling again that my brother is lying?

As we pull up to  Pamela’s house I get this feeling of excitement and fear at the same time. We all get out of our cars and we walk up and knock on her door. A woman about in her thirties answers with a big smile.” Bobby!” she grabs him tight. 

The three of us share a look.” You're a sight for sore eyes.’’ Bobby said to her with a smile to match hers. Pamela steps back a little and looks at both of my brothers like they are pieces of meat. ”So, these the Winchesters” she says with approval. ”Sam, Dean, y/n This is Pamela Barnes, best damn psychic in the state” Naturally Dean answered with a flirty “Hey”. Sam answered like the nerd he is with an awkward “Hi”. And I answered with a” Hi Pamela, nice to meet you”. “I like you, I can already tell.” she told me back.

After she looks back at Dean. ”Mmm-mmm-mmm. Dean Winchester. Out of the fire and back in the frying pan, huh? Makes you a rare individual.” Dean took that comment in.” If you say so.” We go in, this is the moment either we confirm it’s something bad or good please God let it be Good.

“So, you hear anything?’’ Bobby probes. ”Well, I Ouija'd my way through a dozen spirits. No one seems to know who broke your boy out, or why.” I questioned. ” So what’s next?” “A séance, I think. See if we can see who did the deed.’’ ’’You're not gonna... summon the damn thing here..’’ Bobby said.

“No. I just want to get a sneak peek at it. Like a crystal ball without the crystal.” I was already ready for this to be over with how much adrenal was going through my body without even starting yet. Dean responded with a cocky “I'm game”. 

We enter the seance room and Pamela goes to get her crystal ball. Both boys' eyes lay on her lower back. ”Who’s Jesse” Dean says I smack him on the head for it. He looks down at me and I look right back and he backs down. ”Well, it wasn't forever.’’ I am glad she laughed it off because I didn't want him to upset her, by saying that.

Dean goes into what I like to call Flirt Dean mode. ”His loss.” I am starting to get a sense that Papemla is a lot like Dean because she says back “Might be your gain.” Dean looks like a kid in a candy store “Dude, I am so in.” I laugh at his eagerness ”Yeah, she's gonna eat you alive’’

Dean took it as a challenge “Hey, I just got out of jail. Bring it.’’ Pamela passing said to Sam ‘You're invited too, grumpy.” Dean let him know he was not invited.

We are all sitting around the table holding hands as Pamela starts. ”I need to touch something our mystery monster touched.’’ She says as she goes to touch Dean’s thigh he jumps. ” Whoa. Well, he didn't touch me there.” My mistake” she said. Dean then takes off his jacket showing everyone the hand brand. Pamela reaches over, holds the brand, and starts to chant as we close our eyes.

”I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle.

I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle.

I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle.” I then start to feel this warm glow coming over me like the hand from before. “I invoke, conjure, and command... Castiel? No. Sorry, Castiel, I don't scare easy.’’ Castiel so that's its name. How interesting.

“Its name. It's whispering to me, warning me to turn back.’’ ’’I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face.

I conjure and command you, show me your face.”

 Pamela keeps chanting. I don't like how this is going. ”Maybe we should stop.” Everything is shaking more. “ I almost got it.

I command you, show me your face!

Show me your face now!’’ I'll give it to her because she is one brave woman. 

Suddenly She screams and a powerful white light comes from her eyes’’ Bobby grabs her to the floor and she is sobbing’’ I can't see! I can't see! Oh god!’’ Sam calls Nine one one in the background. So I guess it was a bad thing.

As we sat in the diner I just felt so stupid for thinking maybe it could be more than the shit I have to deal with every day. Dean was ordering for us. I didn't even hear him calling me.”y/n?” “ huh oh sorry I was just thinking about everything. I should have known Dean that it was something bad I should have listened .’’ He looks at his little sister. ”Look y/n it might have been something bad but you thinking differently is one of my favorite things about you don’t ever change that.” I smile at him already falling back into his big brother role. 

Sam comes back in with news about Pamela. ”Pam's stable. And out of I.C.U.” “And blind, because of us.” Dean said not wrong.” I groan ”And we still have no clue who we're dealing with.” Sam says.” That's not entirely true.” I looked at Dean with interest “We got a name. Castiel, or whatever. With the right mumbo-jumbo, we could summon him, bring him right to us.” “I agree we can figure out what's going on” Sam looks at both of us.”You're both crazy. Absolutely not.” “We'll work him over. I mean, after what he did?” Dean said back to me nodding with him.”Pam took a peek at him and her eyes burned out of her skull, and you guys want to have a face-to-face ?” I answer for both of us.”You got a better idea?” Sam looked a little offended at that.”Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. I followed some demons to town, right?” Dean and I both said “Okay”.”So, we go find them. Someone's gotta know something about something.’’ I mean I guess but I want to confront this thing. 

The waitress comes over and places the food in front of us. I thank her. ”Thank you”. She then pulls a chair up like she was going to pour water on herself in stripper style. ”You angling for a tip?’’ Dean says weirdly. “I'm sorry. Thought you were looking for us.’’ She then pulls an uno reverse on us by flashing her eyes black and everyone else does the same. She turns towards Dean. ”Dean. To hell and back. Aren't you a lucky duck.’’ Dean is not backing down. ”That's me.” So you get to just stroll out of the pit, huh? Tell me. What makes you so special?” Dean responded back with one of his zingers. ”I like to think it's because of my perky nipples. I don't know. Wasn't my doing, I don't know who pulled me out. ”Lying is a sin” She said not believing Dean.

”I'm not lying. But I'd like to find out, so if you wouldn't mind enlightening me, Flo…” “ Mind your tone with me, boy. I'll drag you back to hell myself.” Sam is about ready to stab the demon I stop him.”No. No, you won’t because if you were you would have done it already. Fact is, you don't know who cut him loose. And you're just as spooked as we are. And you're looking for answers. Well, maybe it was some turbo-charged spirit. Or, uh, Godzilla. Or some big bad boss demon. I'm guessing at your pay grade that they don't tell you squat. Because whoever it was, they want him out. And they're a lot stronger than you. So go ahead. Send him back. But don't come crawling to us when they show up on your front doorstep with some Vaseline and a fire hose.” 

I said defending us. Dean and Sam both look proud and probably wondering what happened to the shy girl from before. She tries to challenge that. “I'm going to reach down your throat and rip out your lungs.” Dean looks right at her throwing her two punches. He leans down and said. “That's what I thought. Let's go, guys”. We get up to leave and I leave money for the pie and a tip “For the pie.” I said and leave with my brothers.

We walk out of the diner and me feeling like I just took on Godzilla myself. “Holy crap, that was close.” Dean said again, not wrong.”We're not just going to leave them in there, are we, Guys?” “well yeah, there's three probably more and one knife between us”. I answered. Then Sam said something that leaves me with more questions. ”I've been killing a lot more demons than that lately.” 

“Not anymore – the smarter brother's back in town.” Dean says feeling protective over us like we were little again.”Guys, we've got to take 'em. They are dangerous.’’ “I mean yes they are dangerous but we are not stupid okay we will get them, Sam.” I said trying to be encouraging. “Y/n’s right. They're scared. Okay? Scared of whatever had the juice to yank me out. We're dealing with a bad mofo here. One job at a time.”

When we got back to the motel I had to get some sleep or I was going to fall over. As I doze off I start to hear this low rumble and the tv turn back to the same static that happened at Pamela's house. I wake to this loud high-pitched noise getting louder and louder I look over to the bed for Sam but the bed is empty.

 I grab my gun but it hurts so much that I have to get into a fetal position and hold my ears. While that was going on the glass around me started to shake and break sending shards into my skin. But at the same time, I felt the same warm glow again from before. I thought what the hell? The door bursts open to Dean and Bobby yelling ”Y/n!”. They take to save me from the room.

 The three of us pile into Bobby’s truck and zoom down the road. ”How ya doing kid’’ Bobby asked from looking in the middle mirror to me.”Well, except it feels like the looney tunes are dropping weights in my head just great” I said with a bit of sarcasm. “I mean guys I have never experienced anything like that before.” Dean and Bobby both look at each with knowing looks. ”I have when I first popped out it sounded like that.”

 Dean tells me. I said what we're all thinking ”What the hell is going on first with you and now me what kind of monster does that?” ”I don’t know but we're going to find out.” He said as he was pulling out his phone. I assumed he was going to call Sam because that was another thing where was he during all of this. I hear his voice speak. ”What are you doing?” “ In my car?” “Well, uh, Bobby's back. We're going to grab a beer with y/n” I look at him knowing what we were going to do. If he was lying now. “Done. Catch you later.’’

 “Why the hell didn't you tell him?” Bobby asked. “Because he would just try to stop us.” I answered. ”From what?” “ Summoning this thing. It's time we faced it head-on.” Dean said nonchalantly.”You can't be serious!” I get Bobby’s concern but we need to do this. ”Well, we don't know what it is. It could be a demon, it could be anything.” “ That's why we've got to be ready for anything.’’ Dean said pulling out the demon knife. ”Bobby, you have every weapon for anything in your trunk.” 

I say trying to calm down him and try to confirm to myself it’s not totally crazy.”This is a bad idea.” Bobby said,” Yeah, we couldn't agree more, but what other choice do we have?” I said. “We could choose life” Bobby was not wrong ”Bobby, whatever this is, whatever it wants, it's after me. Maybe y/n for some reason. That much we know, right? We've got no place to hide. We can either get caught with our pants down again, or we can make our stand.’’ Dean said. “Dean, we could use Sam on this.” “Nah, he's better off where he is.” I sigh to myself thinking when would my brothers learn to share instead of lying, probably never.

We found this abandoned warehouse and decide it was the perfect place. At the same time, I was painting sigils and devil traps everywhere. I thought this is it I am going to find out what this thing was and why it felt so familiar and so different at the same time. We were now just waiting for this thing to show its face. “You sure you did the ritual right?” Dean questions Bobby. In response, a look of you you're talking to. ”Sorry. Touchy, touchy, huh?” I smirk. 

Like something heard Dean the walls start shaking violently and the wind gets louder. “Wishful thinking, but maybe it's just the wind.” Dean said. Just then the doors to the warehouse blow open to a man who looks like to me belongs in Men’s Health magazine which is confusing as hell. At the same time, the bulbs of lights are exploding like fireworks.”Who are you?”  Dean asks half scared. “I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.” The man answered, well that tells us a lot I think with sarcasm. ”Yeah. Thanks for that.”

Dean said and then takes out the demon Knife and surprises me by stabbing the man. The man barely looks bothered and pulls the knife out like it was nothing. Bobby tries to attack him from behind and the man does not even look and stops the attack and swings Bobby around and toches Bobby and he falls to the floor in a sleep-like state. The man then turns to the both of us .”We need to talk, Dean, y/n. Alone” He said with a determination like I have never heard before.

Dean goes over to check on Bobby glaring at the man.”Your friend's alive.”The man said letting us know. “Who are you” I ask hoping to get an answer to this madness.”Castiel.” Castiel said while staring at me and while staring back it felt like the eyes of a friend.

”Yeah, I figured that much, I mean what are you?”  Dean said with annoyance.”I'm an Angel of the Lord.” Castiel answers back with the greatest news ever to me at least.”Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing.” Dean said. “Dean come on with everything that has happened you can't believe that at all?” I ask him ”This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.” Castiel says with thunder striking and the lighting casting giant shadows of wings.

 “Well, there's your proof, Dean,” I tell him. He glares at me and turns to Castiel ”Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes.’’ Castiel looks ashamed of that. ”I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be... overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that.” He explains.”  “ So that was you, why did you try talking to me?” I ask curious. “That was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you both could be one of them. I was wrong. I was trying to see if you could hear me as well Im sorry If that hurt you.”  He told me while looking at me with those blue eyes. “And what visage are you in now, huh? What, holy tax accountant?’’

 Dean asked which is valid. “This? This is... a vessel.” Castiel answered. ”You're possessing some poor bastard?’ Dean Keeps on going. ”He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this.” Huh, I thought interesting. “Uh-huh. Y'know, it might've been easier to show up like this the first time instead of all the burning bush crap.” “ Finding a human vessel durable enough to contain me... it's not easy.” Castiel said. He must be pretty powerful if he needs that to happen.”I have that same problem with women.” Ew did not need to hear that from my brother. ”Look, pal, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?” Castiel looks confused.  

“I told you.” I chuckle at that. ”He means why would an angel rescue him from hell” I told him. “Good things do happen, Dean,y/n .”  I mean they have to if Dean is standing here alive. ”Not usually in our experience.” Dean answered. “What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?” Castiel said while looking at him with what looked like sympathy. It also broke my heart. ”Why'd you do it?” Dean asked what we have all been wondering. Castiel responds with the vaguest answer ever. ”Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you.” 

Next

[lovelywriting666]

Flufftober Masterlist

Day 1: Petnames - Sam Winchester ♥️

Day 2: Headcanons - Castiel 🧡

Day 3: Cuddles - Dan Avidan 💛

Day 4: Date Night - Jared Padalecki 💚

Day 5: Falling Asleep Together-AnothonyPadilla 🩵

Day 6: Nightmare Comfort - Ethan Nestor

Day 7: Reading Together - Brennan Lee Mulligan

Day 8: Late Night - Ted Nevison

Day 9: Marriage Proposal - Sam Winchester

Day 10: Road trip - Platonic! Garrett Watts (Maybe ADHD reader???)

Day 11: Sharing Clothes - Hasan Piker

Day 12: Baking Together - Matpat

Day 13: Love Notes - Jshlatt

Day 14: Scary Movie Night - Kurtswurld96

Day 15: Drawing Each Other - Viktor (Arcane)

Day 16: Picnic Date - Castiel

Day 17: First Kiss Memories - Anthony Padilla

Day 18: Friends to Lovers - Shane Top

Day 19: Arts & Crafts - Damian Hass

Day 20: Shopping - Jerma985

Day 21: Music - Dan Avidan

Day 22: Adopting a pet - Sam Winchester

Day 23: Helping When Sick - Jacksepticeye

Day 24: Patching up wound - Jared Padalecki

Day 25: Hobbies Together - Jinx (Arcane)

Day 26: On a walk - Markiplier

Day 27: Watching a Meteor Shower - Dan Avidan

Day 28: Coffee Date - Misha Collins

Day 29: Self Care Night - Moist Cr1TiKaL

Day 30: Halloween Costumes - Sam Winchester

Day 31: Going Trick or Treating - Sam Winchester

Day 30,31 is like a two parter (:

Made this with my awesome friend @rats-write ♥️

Also theirs a lot of repeats because I don’t write for a lot of people srry! Tomorrow I’ll probably post about 3 to catch up so they’re probably gonna be short but I hope you love them!

(Same props dif peps)

[electromignion]

Young Jeremy Bradshaw fanart! (Bridgewater my beloved)

“Dad? Can you hear me? Are you out there?”

Here’s my latest Bridgewater fanart! I wanted to explore more young!Jeremy Bradshaw; especially as in S2 he mentioned having been tried Wicca when he was younger; so it struck me directly — what if he tried witchcraft overall? And my mind unraveled to that point to now 👌

If you want more explanation about the fanart and my headcanons about Jeremy you can click on read more (because again details are detailing way too much)✌️

So let’s first start with young Jeremy, as he admitted to believe, I wanted to show how he tried to explore all the possibilities and I totally see him as a little bit of a rebellious teen as he is still in denial and as he is aching for the come back of Thomas. That’s why he tries to contact him with the pendulum, he wants to believe.

And I thought how Jeremy would express himself in this situation? That’s why I gave him black nail polish, an earring, and you can’t see it much but he has some black eyeshadow, to me it was his way to express himself.

As a way to express himself too, on the picture framed on the left in the red frame, it’s him as a teen with his mother and his step-dad, as I heard in S1 EP01 that Jeremy’s mother said dad to talk about the guy and Jeremy corrected her, I thought about that grudge must have been lasting for a huge while, so that’s why he put a post it and crossed it as well, because he has always refused to replace Thomas in a way, and he looks quite uncomfy on the picture too.

However, another picture is framed: baby Jeremy with Thomas Bradshaw and this one is fully visible. It’s probably one of his only picture with his dad so he cherished it a lot. (My headcanon is that Jeremy had the film camera and took a picture by accident as he was excited to see the camera, and when they developed it they kept the picture as it was too adorable, and I love Jeremy with his one little tooth 🥺🥹)

He also cherishes the letter his dad has written to him for his fifth birthday, so just before his disappearance. As I don’t know if you will be able to read my handwriting here is my transcript:

“Dear Jeremy, Son, l know I promised to be here today, but *scribbled words which are “you know”* work is work sometimes. I’m sorry. You will probably understand later. You have plenty of birthdays to come, so I promise I’ll make it up to you. Take care of your mom ok? Happy 5th birthday, proud of you, x Dad”

Which makes it even more hurtful because he never got to celebrate another birthday with his son. (Yes I suffer, you suffer with me /lh)

For the context of this fanart, I thought it would be in the year 1995, so Jeremy would be 20 years old and it would match. So I then looked for Gameboy games which were out in North America before 1995 because I really like to be accurate, and I put Batman first because it’s a nod to Misha Collins’ role in Gotham Knights as he plays Harvey Dent! (Btw as an other Misha nod, I did the bed blanket pink for the famous pic of Misha with his pink blankie but that’s really anecdotal but that’s what I enjoy). I really wanted Jeremy to have Pokemon Red/Blue but unfortunately, it was out in Japan in 96’ and then 98’ in NA/EUR and import at the time was so-so, but as he likes myths and folklore he would love to catch pocket monsters for sure. (Maybe a next time??)

I put another paper taped to the wall which is just the Bridgewater triangle with the locations of each angles of it, I like to think that Jeremy was trying to find more information on it, that was his way to have a visual reminder of it all.

When it comes to the X-Files… because his t-shirt is some accurate 90s vintage t-shirt X-Files merch with “the truth is out there” written on it (I like details way too much), I think it is time to explain why TXF is so present in my full Bridgewater fanarts (the Big Blue mug reference to Quagmire 3x22 of txf, or even the I Want To Believe poster which is present usually in Mulder’s office ) not only the show is really important to me, but I really found the vibes of it in Bridgewater, and then it struck me, Jeremy had been Scully coded in the beginning of the S1 to then go to a sort of epiphany realising that things might end up real. But I truly don’t think that it stops here, because to me — we come to the headcanons — Jeremy has watched the X-Files as it aired. It started in 1993, he had 17 years old, he was not feeling good, he wanted to believe, who wanted to believe as well? Fox Mulder.

And it’s easy to draw the parallels: Jeremy has lost his father nobody cares anymore and he is only aching as he had been hoping for him to come back, his father disappeared in strange circonstances in the Bridgewater Triangle. Mulder has lost his little sister, Samantha, whom he was persuaded as a kid to have seen getting abducted by aliens, and everybody has lost hope on finding her, it’s easy to assume that Jeremy saw himself in a way in Mulder. Their seek for the truth is important but even when his belief starts to crumble I think he is still attached to the show and starts to find himself in the character of Scully, scientific and down to earth before anything else because it hurts less, and it’s his trauma response. But I think he ends up with the IWTB poster in his house as an adult as no matter what, he still wants to believe into the hope of finding Thomas again although he doesn’t believe it anymore.

For the witchcraft part he also has a tigers eye stone bracelet because it’s supposed to have strong properties of protection, and the pendulum is in amethyst as it’s supposed to bring soothing energy and good vibes — which might be useful to get contact with Thomas.

Then we come to my favourite fanart “plotwist” which I’m super proud of: the incense behind him as it’s burning is spelling “Jeremy?” which is a supposition that his contact with Thomas was indeed working — the veil hum hum cough cough — however he could not see it so not believe it, whereas ironically, the cone incense in front of him was burning normally, so this “séance” not working might have crumbled his beliefs into the supernatural too which put them into more into the rank of myths instead of real tangible possible things (and we can see his interests into myths and folklore already as the three books he has on his shelves are about it!)

As a ref of young!Jeremy Bradshaw I took refs on pics of Misha in his twenties 😭✌️

I hope you enjoyed my fanart (it took me roughly 13 hours this time) and my little explanation and thank you for reading it all! Lots of love 🫶

[thelibrarylesstrektraveled]

Nightingale Chapter Sixteen - The Fourth Wall

Summary: Jensen Ackles seemed to have it all. A hit television series fifteen years running, a budding music career and a stunning wife. To the casual observer, his life was perfect. But it was a façade. No more real than the supernatural world created on a soundstage.

That day on the lake had started with uncertainty, but when he pulled you from the water everything became clear. The truth was, he’d been the one drowning.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x Reader, Jensen x You

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Misha Collins, Reader

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Drowning, Fluff, Angst, Smut, unprotected sex

Chapter Sixteen: The Fourth Wall

Word Count: 4176

Author’s Notes: This is a complete work of fiction about a real life person. The circumstances are totally made up and are in no way a commentary on the fantastic Jensen Ackles or his family.

This is also a unique reader insert story as I have given the reader a physical description including hair color, eye color and body type. Hopefully you can still lose yourself in the utter fantasy where Jensen is the hero and you are ripe for rescuing!

Masterlist

Nightingale Masterlist

     Both your phone and Jensen’s buzzed at the same time.  You knew who it was before you even looked.

     “Solomon,” he said, scrolling through the details of the text.  “Jesus.  This itinerary reads like a weekend convention circuit.  Seriously, who goes out this much?”

     “Breakfast and strolling at the Ester Short Park farmer’s market.  Tour of the Van Dusen Botanical Gardens.  Coffee at Shaughnessy’s.  Window shopping downtown.  Couples’ yoga.  Oohh!  Tickets to Hamilton on Friday night!”

     Jensen’s brow crinkled and those little disapproving brackets appeared at the corners of his mouth.  “Yoga?  Seriously?  I don’t have that…”

     You lifted a shoulder in a shrug, “Couples Tantric Yoga at Good Vibrations Studios.  Wow… the room is heated to 105 degrees to sweat in tandem with your partner.  Open your chakras and your bodies to this intimate practice first discovered in the unpublished Kama Sutra.  Wow, I didn’t know they bent that way…”

     That had him grabbing your phone.  “Seriously?!  Fucking Solomon signed us up for sweaty sex yoga?!” 

     The indignant bluster blew out of his sails a moment later and you broke into laughter. 

     “You’re hilarious,” he deadpanned.

     Your mischievous grin only grew, “You seem disappointed!  Why don’t we call and see if they can squeeze us in to the class on Sunday?”

     You made a grab for the phone, and he held it over his head, out of reach.  Dodging your hands and tickling you at the same time.  Your attempts to tickle him back had no effect and only made him double his efforts.  Torturing you until you were practically crying with giggles.  Suddenly, he hoisted you over his shoulder, bouncing you a bit as he walked through the apartment. 

     “Jensen!  That’s cheating!”  You laughed as you squirmed in his grasp.

     He tossed you down on the bed in a giggling mess then threw himself down beside you.  “There’s no cheating when there’s no rules, Sweetheart.”

     You tried to catch your breath as he moved strands of blonde hair away from your face.  “You aren’t even ticklish.”

     “Used to be, my older brother would sit on me and torture tickle me until I peed my pants.”

     “How’d you get over it?”

     “I found ways to distract myself,” he murmured, his eyes flickering over your face. 

     “Mind over matter?”

     “Something like that.”

     The two of you had shared countless kisses, but you never grew tired of them.  Your heartrate kicked up the moment his lips touched yours, excitement heating your blood the same today as it did the first time.  His strong hands roamed your body, seeking out the secret places that responded so readily.  You yielded to his touch and surrendered on a sigh. 

     He ended the kiss before he could get too carried away.  The FBI had the whole place bugged and the two of you agreed early on that there would be no sex until this mess was behind you.   He pulled you up against him and placed a kiss to your hairline.

     “Better?”

     You nodded, relaxing into his embrace.  Your eyes closed as he threaded his fingers through your hair and gently massaged the nape of your neck.  He always did that when your migraines were bad.  Once your concussion healed, they were practically gone but with all the stress of the investigation, they were back with a vengeance. 

     “I’m sorry,” you murmured into his chest.  “About earlier.”

     “It was an understandable reaction, that guy came up out of nowhere.  I didn’t even see him come up behind us.”

     “I nearly had a panic attack in the middle of the street.  I probably traumatized your poor fans.”

     “Yeah, well I traumatize them every Thursday night so, they’re used to it by now,” Jensen joked, moving his hand to stroke your back.  “How can I help, baby?  Tell me what I can do to make it better.”

     “I don’t know if it can get much better.  I mean, Solomon sends us pictures of the under-cover agents every day.  Both of us are wearing tracking devices.  This place is completely wired and under surveillance.  Everything we do is planned out to the last detail.  I know we are as safe as we can be I just… I can’t stop thinking about him.”  Your chest immediately grew tight, and you fought to keep your breathing under control.

     “Every time we leave this apartment, I’m looking for him.  I’m searching the faces of everyone we pass, wondering if the next one I see will be his.  I feel like a little kid, scared of the boogey man is hiding in the closet!”

     “Is that why you’ve been leaving the bathroom light on at night?”

     “Maybe,” you muttered.  “I know it’s stupid.”

     “It’s justified.”

     “Maybe,” you said again.  “I wish I could be as calm as you are in crowds.  It never seems to rattle you.”

     “Oh, I’m rattled, believe me.  But I’ve got a job to do, and I just focus on it.  Nothing is more important than that, everything else falls away.”

     “You mean acting?”

     “I mean taking care of you,” he curled a finger under your chin, coaxing your gaze to meet his.  “We’re in it together.  Every day, it’s you and me, Sweetheart.”

     “Stronger together.”  You said it at the same time he did.  It had become your mantra over the past two weeks. 

     It was your prayer to each other.  You said every time you set foot outside of the safety bubble of your apartment.  Every time the two of you stopped for pictures with fans.  Every time the paparazzi followed the two of you through a public park or into a restaurant.  Every time you needed reassurance, Jensen would squeeze your hand and whisper it in your ear. 

     It worked well to calm your nerves.  At first.  But as time dragged on with no sign of Arthur Green, the pressure and anxiety built.  You were jumpy, bordering on paranoid.  When that aggressive fan popped up as you were crossing the boulevard, it triggered a reaction so severe that Jensen’s magic phrase didn’t work.  You were so shaken up that the two of you went directly home, despite not completing the daily agenda.

     “I just wish I could do a better job in all this.  I know I’m supposed to look happy and carefree… Green’s never going to show himself if he thinks this is a trap.”  You sighed and fiddled with the buttons on Jensen’s shirt.  “I’ve never had much of a poker face.”

     “Everyone has a poker face; you just have to find your focus.  That’s all acting is, really.  Keeping your focus.”

     “I guess that’s why you’re the actor and I’m the doctor.”

     A thoughtful look crossed his face, as if he’d just realized the answer to a difficult crossword.  His clear, green eyes lit with enthusiasm, and he sat up, tugging you with him.

     “Come on, I’ve got an idea.”

     “What are we doing in your closet?” You asked from your cross-legged position on the carpeted floor.

     Jensen closed the door and stuffed a rolled-up towel against the threshold so that not even a sliver of light could peek through.  “We’re creating the fourth wall.”

     “What?”

     He walked to the bank of drawers along the back wall and searched through the contents.  “It’s an old actor’s trick, you’ll see.”

     He returned with one of his silk ties in his hand.  It was a subtle blue on blue paisley pattern that he wore on one of your dates ages ago.

     He handed it to you and sat on the floor across from you, folding his bowed legs up with a grunt. 

     “I love this tie.”

     “I know you do,” he smiled softly at you.  “Do you remember that night?  That little Italian place around the corner from your hospital?”

     “Of course, I do.”

     It had been a week since you and Jensen reconciled.  You held strong to your decision not to move back in with him.  You were determined to take things slow and not fall back into old patterns.  You wanted this to last, you both did and that meant rebuilding trust.  The man didn’t make it easy though! 

     For his part, Jensen was the perfect gentleman.  Sweet, attentive, respectful, funny, charming.  Good morning texts and calls during his down time on set.  He invited you over for dinner midweek, made your favorite spaghetti and even sent you home with leftovers for lunch.  There were bone melting kisses and hand holding, but he never initiated anything more.  He wanted you to set the pace. 

     On Friday, you arrived at work and found a shallow planter the size of a hubcap overflowing with an array of tiny, blue flowers waiting for you.  Along with a card.

     Have a great day, gorgeous! – Love, J

     Val came up beside you, her eyes wide, “Wow!  Who sent you those?”

     You grinned and ran your fingers over the bright, bell-shaped blossoms.  “They’re from Jensen.”

     “Really?  Anniversary or apology?”

     You slipped the small card into the pocket of your lab coat, “Neither.”

     “Come on, he must have done something.  No guy sends…. What kind of flowers are they?”

     “Bluebonnets.  Texas Bluebonnets.”

     “Right.  Anyway, there’s a reason for them.  You just don’t know what it is yet.”

     You floated through your whole shift.  Not even Val’s cynicism could dampen your mood.  You didn’t have time to send Jensen anything more than a thank you text, but you were determined to show your appreciation.  Maybe you’d invite him over for dinner at your place.  Best to order in, given your abysmal cooking skills.  Or maybe just dessert…

     You were just about to clock out when you were paged over the intercom.  You picked up line four holding for you.

     “This is Doctor Baines.”

     “Gabs?”

     “Tony, what’s up?”

     “I need you for a consult, do you have a few minutes?”

     “Sure.”

     “Great.  Cardiology, Room 202.”

     A few short minutes later you opened the door to 202, instead of a cardiac patient, you found Jensen.  Looking like he just stepped out of the pages of GQ.  His dark blue suit was tailored, pressed and perfect.  Crisp shirt, matching blue tie and a trio of bluebonnets in his lapel.

     He smiled in that way that made his eyes crinkle and made you melt.  “Hiya Sweetheart.”

     You leaned against the door so that it clicked behind you.  “Mr. Ackles.  You are looking remarkably well for a man in the cardiac ward.”

     “Oh, I’m in rough shape, doc.”  He placed a dramatic hand over his heart.  “My ticker’s going crazy!”

     You bit your bottom lip; he really was too cute!  “Is that so?”

     “Yeah!  Every time I see this girl, it’s like my heart’s going to beat right out of my chest.”

     “Sound serious.”

     “You think so?”

     “Heart palpitations are nothing to dismiss out of hand.”  You pulled your stethoscope from around your neck, “I think I better check you over.”

     “I was thinking the same thing,” he drawled.

     You placed a hand in the center of his chest and firmly walked him backwards, your gaze holding his until the back of his legs bumped the exam table.  Wordlessly, you patted the table.  He lifted himself up with ease, the sterile paper crinkled under his weight. 

     “I hope you won’t mind if I get a little… close,” you said, gently urging his knees apart so you could stand in the vacant space between his legs. 

     His voice dipped deep.  “I’m in your hands.”

     You started with his tie, reaching up to loosen the perfectly executed knot.  A tug and the fine fabric came free easily.  It sounded like a hushed whisper as it moved against the starched shirt to pool in your hand.  His Adam’s apple bobbed as you moved on to the tiny button holding the collar closed.  You knew if you looked at him, your resolve would evaporate, so you concentrated on your task.  Button by button.  Inch by inch.  You stopped halfway to put the earpieces in place and warm the bell of the stethoscope with your breath. 

     You slid the bell against the taut, tanned skin of his pectoral and let it rest over his heart.  A smile curved your lips as you heard his heart thumping, strong and steady.  No better sound in the world.  Although, the longer you kept your hand there, the faster that rhythm got.

     “Your heartrate is elevated.”

     “What do I do, doc?”

     “A little test, see how you respond to stimuli.”

     “Sounds intense.”

     This time you risked looking up, those green eyes of his had turned a shade darker and you felt your own heart leap in response. 

     “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” 

     Keeping the bell anchored over his heart, you leaned up and captured his lips with your own.  Kissing Jensen was as much a revelation today as it was the first time.  He expressed so many things in those moments of intense connection.  Passion and joy.  Exuberant love, romance… sharp desire.  Solace and devotion.  It was the language spoken by souls that met and matched. 

     The kiss deepened, his arms went around you and the staccato beat faster through the earpieces as his heart picked up pace.  Urgency grew.

     You nipped his bottom lip slightly as you pulled away, earning a groan from him.  “You’re killing me, Sweetheart.”

     “Not today.  I can confirm, your heart is in perfect working order.”

     “Good thing, I kinda need it.”  He snagged the stethoscope from you with a smirk, “My turn.”

     Not one to shrink from a challenge, you hopped up beside him, “Do your worst, Doctor Ackles.”

     Somehow, he made the mundane tools of your profession look incredibly sexy.  You didn’t exactly have a doctor kink, but you’d develop one in a hurry if he kept it up.  A serious look swept over his features, and you knew you were in trouble.  In measured movements, he slipped his hand holding the bell under the scoop neckline of your shirt. 

     You knew the moment he found his mark because his face transformed to reflect wonder.  It was an incredibly intimate act to hear the life thrumming in another human being.  He simply listened, as if he was trying to memorize it, hear the music of it.  You were so mesmerized by his experience that you failed to notice his other hand until it found your breast.

     You gasped. 

     His eyebrows rose a fraction, but did not move his hand, “Everything okay?”

     At your nod, he smiled and continued.  Monitoring your heartrate as he explored the curves and concaves he knew so well.  Noting how the rhythm increased when he ran his thumb over the nipple straining under the layers of cotton.  How the beat skipped when his tongue found that secret place just below your earlobe.  Hot kisses down the column of your neck to the hollow where your clavicles met brought your hands up to rake through his hair.  He sucked the skin slightly while his hand traced the inner line of your leg.  Your heart galloped along wildly and when he palmed you through your scrubs, you breathed his name.

     Your head fell back, “Jensen…”

      An annoying beep from his jacket pocket that broke the spell.  He stopped ravishing you long enough to check his phone, “Ooh!  We gotta go!”

     You sat up dazed and trying to catch your breath, “Go?  Now?”

     He hopped off the table and straightened his suit, smoothing out the wrinkles caused by your make-out session.

     “Reservations at Marco’s.”

     You eyed him suspiciously, “You… did you deliberately get me all excited just to tease me?”

     His shrug was innocent, but the sparkle in his eyes gave him away.  He held a hand to you, “I just wanted to make sure you had a good appetite worked up.”

     You took his hand and narrowed your blue eyes at him, “Okay.  But we’re getting dessert to go!”

     “Only if you bring your stethoscope, doc,” he replied while brushing a kiss across your knuckles with a wink.

     “When I was twenty-eight, I was in a live production of A Few Good Men.  I hadn’t performed on stage like that since high school.  And I was really nervous, like shaking in my boots, throwing up backstage terrified!  My parents were there, Danneel was there…  a ton of Supernatural fans showed up too.”

     “You had stage fright?  But you’d been an actor for… what, a decade at that point?”

     “Television is different.  If I screw up, we can just do another take.  A live performance takes a different level of concentration.  People in the audience whisper or forget to turn off their phones.  Someone drops something backstage, or your co-star forgets their lines.  Anything can happen.  That’s where the fourth wall comes in, imagine there is an invisible wall between you and the audience.  That the stage is a completely enclosed.  It’s your world, nothing else exists.  Its just you and whoever you are sharing that stage with.”

     You looked down at the blue tie in your hands, “That sounds like something that comes with practice.  It took you years to perfect your craft, I can’t get to that level in an afternoon.”

     “It’s simpler than you think.  Acting is really just reacting,” he said with a smile, “Besides, you had plenty of cram sessions in med school.”

     “I suppose so.”

     “Good.  Now, I want you to look around this space.  Commit the details of it to memory.  Wall color, carpet color, shelves, racks, shoes… all of it.  Everything you can see.”

     You tried to give him back the tie, thinking it wasn’t part of the exercise and he shook his head, “Nuh uh.  You keep that, you’ll need it.”

     Your brow furrowed slightly, wrapping the tie around your left hand nervously.  You felt like you were failing, and you hadn’t even started.

     Jensen reached out and stilled your hands with his own, “Hey, deep breath.  There’s nothing to worry about.  It’s just you and me here, this is our own little world.  Everything outside that door, that’s them.  No one else can come in here, ever.  We’re safe here.  Just you and me.”

     “Stronger together,” you murmured.

     “Stronger together,” he repeated back.  “Close your eyes.”

     You did as instructed.  He released your hands and sat back, “Deep breath, in and out.  Again.  Good girl, relax.  Let the tension melt from your muscles and drain away.  Deep breath… good.  Very good.”

     You loved his voice; it was warm and had a deep resonance that put you at ease.  The cadence of his instructions had an almost hypnotic quality and you felt yourself sinking into it. 

     “How do you feel?”

     “Good,” you said with a sigh, “Kind of floaty.”

     “The tie in your hands.  How does it feel?”

     You rubbed the material between your fingers, “Smooth.  Cool, like a mountain lake.”

     “Good,” he praised again.  “Now, I want you to picture the closet in your mind.  Put it together with the details you saw only moments ago.”

     You frowned slightly, rubbing the silk in your hands like a worry stone.

     “It’s just you and me here, Y/N.  It’s our world, our safe place.  Tell me what you see.”

     “Clothes.”

     He waited a beat, “Anything else?”

     “Um… the door?”

     “Dig a little deeper, Harvard.”

     “My annoying boyfriend.”

     Jensen held back a sigh, determined not to break the spell.  “Try scent, how does it smell?”

     “Good,” you huffed out in frustration.  The tension was building back up in your shoulders and your ass was starting to fall asleep from sitting on the floor.  You found yourself wondering if it was too late to run away to Bermuda.  You took another deep breath and caught something you hadn’t noticed before.

     “Cedar.  You keep those little cedar balls in the sock drawer.”

     “Yeah, I do.”

     “Tom Ford… um… that vanilla one I like.”

     He grinned, you told him it was your favorite and he bought three bottles just to make sure he always had some on hand.  “Vanilla Tobacco.”

     “Fabric softener, there are dryer sheets in the vents… and there is an air vent somewhere behind me, its blowing on my shirt.  The woodwork in here is light, the rest of the apartment is dark, in here it’s not.  Your clothes are arranged by type and then by color.  Same for the shoes, which you have an insane amount of.  Everything is on those expensive hangers you love so much.  Oh!  And you have two whole drawers devoted to watches.”

     “Good job, open your eyes, Sweetheart.”

     As you did, he took the tie from your hands and cut it neatly in half with his pocketknife.

     “Jay!”

     He took your left arm and tied the narrow end around your wrist, “This tie is your tether to this space.  Every time you feel anxious or scared, I want you to feel that silk against your skin and remember how it felt to be here.  Come back to this safe place where it’s just you and me.”

     He held the other half of the tie out to you along with his left arm.  You followed his example and fastened it around his wrist to match yours.  When you were done, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held on tight, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

     “Thank you,” you whispered.

     Jensen pulled you down to sit on his lap and held you close.

     “I’ve got you,” he vowed, pressing a kiss to your hairline, “Always.”

     Three days later, you and Jensen were at yet another public outing.  This time it was Shakespeare in the park.  At this point you were so sick of concerts, romantic dinners, and date nights that you were ready to tear your hair out.  At least it was your favorite play, Much Ado About Nothing.  Comedy always beats tragedy. 

     The place was packed, no surprise given the beautiful weather.  There were vendors selling everything from Italian Ice to Chicken and Waffles on a stick.  Street musicians busked, kids played in the fountain, couples necked under shade trees, dogs trotted along happily with their owners.  It was idyllic.

     Maybe it was the sunshine or the actor’s trick Jensen taught you, either way, you felt good.  Relaxed.  Even when a group of fans gathered around for pictures and autographs, you felt centered and calm. 

     “Oh my gosh!  You two are so cute together!”  A younger girl gushed.

     “Can we get your picture too?” another asked you, “Are you really a doctor?”

     Jensen pulled you to his side and slung an arm around your shoulders, while you smiled up at him. It was your typical couple in love pose.  He kissed your temple and every girl in eyesight sighed. 

     “I am a doctor.  As a matter of fact, you should get your friend there some water and shade,” you replied motioning to a swaying, giggling girl heading for the margarita truck.  “Maybe no more alcohol for today?”

     “Check out my girl,” Jensen said as the group wandered happily away, “Signing autographs, saving lives.”

     “Saving her from a hangover maybe,” you replied, lacing your fingers through his as you strolled.  “People tend to underestimate the effects of drinking on days like this.”

     “We’ve got about ten more minutes before the intermission is over, want to head back?”

     “Yeah, um maybe hit the bathroom first?”

     You entered the surprisingly empty ladies’ room while Jensen waited for you just outside the door.  You couldn’t wait for this FBI business to be over so you could go to the bathroom alone, like a normal person. 

     You were just washing your hands when the door swung open and a couple of the girls from the earlier group stumbled in, including the drunk one.  You gave a polite nod and stepped out of their way, but it wasn’t quick enough to avoid a collision.  The three of you ended up in a tangle on the floor, two of them giggling and you, definitely not.   

     “Are you two alright,” you asked, trying to keep your composure.

     The tipsy girl threw her head back and laughed, rolling back on the floor.  The other one shook her head in disgust.

     “Ugh, Jesus Suzie!  Bitch never could hold her booze.”

     You felt dizzy.  And unbearably hot!  You tried to get up, but your muscles didn’t respond.  Something wasn’t right. 

     You called for Jensen, but your tongue was heavy in your mouth.  All that came out was a garbled mess.  You felt your heart begin to race as you panicked and your vision blurred.

     “Gee, you seem a little green around the gills, Doctor West.”

     The sober girl was standing at one of the sinks, studying her face in the mirror as she spoke.  Her clothes hung loose on her long, wiry frame.  Choppy black hair framed a thin face with severe features.  Dark eyes, nearly black.  Eyes that were normally behind glasses. 

     Arthur.  “Oh… God.”

     Green dropped to the balls of his feet, a lethal grin twisted his face as he grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked your head back. 

      “Hello again, Y/N.”

[amberjazmyn]

i'm still here though, aren't i?

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - i'm still here though, aren't i? 

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - angst, teenage dad x misha, widower dad x misha, single dad x misha, failed suicide attempt, teenage daughter, crying, yelling

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - misha's teenage daughter, collette, had attempted suicide and for the first time since it happened, the father and daughter got into a heated argument whilst on the set of supernatural because collette refused to talk about it to her dad. she refused to talk about it because she felt as if whilst she wished the attempt didn't fail, she's somewhat grateful that it failed and she didn't want to feel as though she was in the wrong. however, it was in this argument that she truly realised the mistake she had made and the fear and devastation it brought to her dad. 

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - this will be an awfully heavy chapter so, like always, please read with caution or don't read at all. flashbacks to the event of collette's attempt will be in italics, as will all the other flashbacks and the present time will be in normal font. i love you all and please, stay safe 

masterlist

- - - 

in hindsight, misha should have known that there was something wrong with his teenage daughter, collette, but he just thought he was becoming too much of a helicopter parent. i mean, collette was misha's only daughter and was the only thing he had left of his wife who died two years ago. so, because of that, he didn't want to constantly get in his daughter's way. he wanted her to have some freedom, especially now that she was sixteen, having just turned that age on the day of her eventual suicide attempt. however, he should have realised that, maybe, he shouldn't have been so far away from his daughter to the point where she felt like she had to even think about suicide let alone attempt it for him to realise that she still needs her dad. 

collette's attempt 

it was everything she could have ever wanted. the bathtub was filled to the brim with water that was sure to run cold in minutes, if not seconds. the knives and sharp objects that anyone could have, were resting on the side table that had been brought in, the envelopes with the letters that had been written for every single person in collette's life had been written and were resting on the bathroom sink. she was already dressed considering she had just wrapped up for the day on the set of supernatural. so, straight away, fully clothed, she stepped into the overflowing bathtub and she started cutting at her wrists. she had been cutting at her wrists for a few minutes before she realised it wasn't doing what she wanted it to do. she wanted to bleed and hurt and it wasn't doing that. so, that was when she had to bring in the big guns and, not just figuratively. sixteen-year-old collette collins had managed to find her uncle jared's shotgun and had snuck it out of his trailer and into her tote bag, smuggling it back home with her. she had drawn the gun out of her bag, checking to see if it still had ammo in it and lifted it up to her left temporal. ready to shoot when the noise of her father, uncles and the rest of the supernatural cast entered the house scared her. this then caused her finger to slip, the gun to go off and instead of getting her in the head, the gunshot went straight through her shoulder as it slipped and she went to catch it. the loud noise making collette jump and leading her to fall right back into the bathtub. the gunshot obviously garnered everyone's attention but none more so than misha's. without a second to do anything else, he ran up the stairs and into the bathroom with jensen and jared in tow and what they saw wasn't something that would easily be erased from their memory.

"...collette marie collins!" misha's booming voice calls out, reverberating throughout the house as his daughter, who had since blacked out from the gunshot wound, laid unresponsive in the bathtub of her parents' bathroom 

"come on collette, what have you done?!" misha calls out as the three men walk upstairs and straight away, they go into his bedroom 

they knew this because for context, misha would come home after collette would come home first since she'd finish shooting before him, she'd be either asleep on his bed or watching netflix. however, this time, neither was the tv on nor anything else to suggest that the gunshot had come from a tv show or a youtube video. this, obviously, sparked the worst fear and feeling in misha and collette's uncles' stomachs but it made them rush into the room that much quicker.

without even thinking about the fact that his daughter could be right in front of the bathroom door, misha took a chance and he kicked in the bathroom door. unveiling something that was from both his nightmares and was only seen on tv shows, supernatural being one of them. misha's entire body fell limp as he tried to think as rationally as he could to get his little girl help. jensen immediately, without a second to think, grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialled 911 and requested the closest ambulance whilst jared helped misha grab collette's collapsed, heavy, wet and bloodied body out of the bath. which proved to be a challenge since collette was fully dressed which made her so much heavier to pick up. 

"mish, the paramedics are on their way, their closest ambulance is three minutes away! do you two need a hand?" jensen called out, calm and collected and placed his phone back into his back pocket

he watches as misha and jared slightly struggle to get their daughter and niece out of the bathtub, "could we please jens? what did she fucking do to herself?" misha mumbled to himself as he tried to analyse what his girl could have done to herself to draw this much blood

that was when jared's eyes caught onto the things that were resting next to the bathtub and the bathroom sink. he almost choked on his own breath which caught misha and jensen's attention as they managed to place collette on the bed.

"what's wrong jared? did you find something?" jensen spoke up as misha tried to attend to his daughter and dry her off before the paramedics arrived  

"there's razors, knives...everything sharp you could imagine along with a shotgun...she grabbed my shotgun and shot herself...the razor cuts on her arm weren't drawing as much blood as she wanted them too so she tried to shoot herself..." jared trailed off as that really made misha feel sick

"...how...how did she find your gun, jared?" misha stammered out, not even having it in him to be mad at his best friend or blame him as jared just shook his head, not knowing either

"i...i don't know mish...i...i genuinely thought i had hidden it so she couldn't find it!" jared was just as flabbergasted that his niece could have found his gun just like misha and jensen were shocked that their daughter and niece could find it 

"she was obviously very smart about it though..." jensen mumbled in as the other two nodded their heads as they focused back over to collette who was still knocked out cold yet, misha realised something 

it confused him because it was very obvious that where her gunshot wound was, was not where she was intending it to hit. that was when he realised what his little girl was trying to do and it made him dizzy and it made him choke on his tears. his eyes then followed from his daughter to the bathroom sink where jared had found the gun and the razors earlier and found an envelope. this was when it finally all connected and made sense to misha - collette's accident was anything but an accident. he finally realised that she had done this all on purpose because she was trying to commit suicide but, ultimately failed. this makes sense when he thought about the gunshot wound in collette's shoulder, she wouldn't have shot herself in the shoulder if she wanted to kill herself. she was obviously trying to get her head or someplace where she would have died instantly, but, it seemed as if the second that he and the rest of the cast had walked into the house that it scared collette, hence the misfire on her part. however, misha had never been so grateful for the fact that he had caught his daughter on time. he was also glad when the noises of the ambulance sirens were heard, it meant that his daughter had the possibility of being saved. jensen and jared also had a moment to breathe as well as what they had seen was also traumatising for them. sure, they weren't collette's dad but, they were the second and third closest thing to misha and were collette's first uncles from supernatural.  

despite being out of hospital for about two months now, collette was still strong about refusing to talk about what happened and why she did what she did. and, for everyone else in the cast, they understood that boundary and didn't push it. however, misha, her dad, did push it because, that's his daughter. of course he was going to push it because he wanted an answer from his daughter or anything that could satisfy him enough that he could breathe and sleep easier at night. however, collette selfishly wasn't ready to provide an answer for her dad just yet and, usually, misha would a hundred per cent understand that. however, this time, he just couldn't let it go because, the last time that happened, he nearly lost his daughter and became a suicide statistic. that was something he didn't want, not at all, not again. he didn't want to take that chance again only to possibly lose his daughter all over again. 

"...collette, sweetheart, can we have a chat please?" misha suddenly asks his daughter as she finishes a scene with her uncles, jared and mark sheppard 

"of course we can dad, what's up?" collette smiled and said a quick goodbye to mark and jared before sitting down in the seat next to her dad 

"i know that it's been two months since it happened. i understand that you refuse to talk about it with people and, i'm not purposefully making you push this boundary but, can you just give me something as a reason to why you thought your life was so unimportant that you did what you did?" misha spoke camly, he wasn't raising his voice, he wasn't making a scene, he was just simply asking his daughter a question that has been eating at his insides 

however, that wasn't how collette heard or saw that question. she saw that as her dad invading her personal space and, she hated it on the outside. even though, on the inside, she had been waiting to hear it because she just wanted to be heard. but, at the same time, she wanted to be selfish and make her dad go through more anguish. 

"dad, please stop. i'm not ready to talk about it," collette begged as she gulped, obviously embarrassed over the fact that she was on set and it was being talked about - not because of what she did

"collette, i have given you your space and time even though it's been agonizing and made me sick to the stomach every passing day! can you please just give me something? don't you understand what you did?" misha slightly raises his voice which makes collette panic slightly 

and, that was because, in all truthfulness, the girl really had no full comprehension or understanding of what she actually did. or what the repercussions her suicide attempt would have not just on her but also her family and friends. 

but, she lied and it was obvious too, "i do understand what i did and it annoys me every single day that it failed! why do you think i attempted it in the first place?!" now collette was raising her voice and it was obvious that she didn't mean the words, not even understanding the power these words had, she just truly wanted to one-up her dad

"collette...sweetheart...you don't actually mean that!" misha went quite, getting more and more distressed and agitated and collette could tell 

and, whilst it broke her heart, it made her want to fight against her dad even more. so, that's what she did, "i really do mean it, dad! if only it wasn't for the fact that you guys all came home at the exact right time the bullet wouldn't have got my shoulder, it would've got me straight in the head and i would've been dead within minutes, if not seconds!" collette's voice was loud and it pierced through everyone who heard it in the gut

of course collette was smart, she's the daughter of a former white house intern for fuck sake! however, sometimes, her brain sent her mixed signals and it confused her and that was what was happening right now. it was very obvious that what collette was saying right now was nothing remotely close to what she'd usually say. usually, in a situation like this, she'd be crying and being comforted by her dad. and she was always given that comfort and forgiveness, even after acting out like this and after attempting suicide. 

"collette marie collins, do you realise the severity of what you did two months ago? do you understand the pain it put me through?!" misha's voice was going up an octave due to his emotions slowly becoming uncontrollable as he stood up 

"maybe i do and maybe i don't but i'm still here though, aren't i?" collette screeched as she also stood up to match her dad as misha stood back in shock as he shook his head 

"yes, i'm fucking glad that you're still alive collette. you are my entire world but, if you just understand these next words that come out of my mouth, then you'll understand the grief, agony and horror you put me and every single person on this set through!" misha paused as collette locked her jaw as she braced herself for what was going to come out of her father's mouth

"collette, you not only stole uncle jared's gun, but you also broke apart every single razor in my bathroom, took all of the knives and you thought you had the right to take uncle jared's shotgun to what was originally your left temporal and shoot yourself. in the bathtub after you had realised that the cuts on your skin weren't actually going to do anything in the time that you wanted it to. so, you shot yourself. you have no idea how horrified uncle jared, uncle jensen and i were when we heard that gunshot and saw you laying there just unconscious in my own bathtub that was filled with bloodied water..." 

"...dad--" 

"--no, collette! you don't get to speak because you still don't understand the gravity of what you tried to do those two months ago! you have no clue the amount of tears i cried at that hospital, how many hours i spent laying awake, hoping and praying, to any and every god i could think of just hoping that you would wake up. how many nightmares i had about me running into that room and not being able to save you, how many hours i spent sitting in that god awful uncomfortable chair, my entire body going numb because i didn't once move a single limb off of that seat! this is the most hopeless i've felt since losing your mother, collette! i am trying, i am trying so fucking hard to take care of you and make sure you're happy. you are my only daughter collette and you are the only thing i have left of your mother! okay, i am so desperately sorry that i made you feel like this was what you needed to do to get my attention and, if it was my fault, i will take full responsibility for it. but, please, just give me one single piece of reason why you thought you had to write those suicide notes and try to kill yourself. just so i can go to sleep without the fear of you trying to do it again when i'm asleep and not able to help you, please, i beg you, collette..." misha trailed off as his anger was replaced by grief as tears welled in his eyes, tears also welling in his daughter's eyes 

hearing her dad reveal all of his feelings over her suicide attempt made collette feel guilty. but, it also made her finally understand the gravity of what her suicide attempt had actually caused to everyone and what it had put them through. and, her understanding that, scared the living crap out of her and now she understood what everyone else was going through. it was finally sinking into her head that she did try to kill herself with uncle jared's shotgun and that she was purposefully aiming for her left temporal and from the self-harm scars that she also gave herself before resulting to the gun. and, it was this moment that collette cried. bowing her head to the floor, she was scared to open her arms to ask her dad for a hug. but, she didn't need to be scared because her dad immediately pulled her in for a hug and held her tight. jared and jensen watching on whilst the rest of the cast tried to not look but, they couldn't help themselves to look. 

"...i...i'm so sorry..." she whimpered out, her soft tearful apology broke misha's heart into two as he held his daughter tightly 

"...hey...no...ssh, it's okay darling, it's okay!" misha spoke softly as he held onto his little girl as tightly as he could, tighter than when he hugged her after the death of his wife, her mother

"no...no...it...it wasn't okay dad! i...i had no right to even think like that!" collette sobbed as she hadn't clutched onto her dad's shirt this tight in years 

"you're human, collette. that's all you need to be told to know that what you were feeling was incredibly valid and i am so sorry that i didn't see the signs early on. i love you so much, collette marie collins. you are my entire world, you're all that i have left and if i was to be on this earth without, i...i really don't know how i'd still be able to breathe every day. you are my one reason, the only thing i want and need in my life. the one reminder that i'm allowed to smile and continue on with my life is because of you, collette. and because you are my daughter. i love you so incredibly much and whilst you scare me half the time, i wouldn't want to change anything about you, except for the things that go on inside that very intelligent but strange brain of yours that i can't change. i seriously worry about you every single day but, you have no clue how thankful i am that your eyes opened that day two months ago. i am so thankful that you woke up..." misha trailed off as collette managed to calm herself down and remained silent in her father's embrace as they then sat on the floor together

two months ago 

it seemed as though misha would be waiting for an eternity before his little girl would open her eyes and wake up from her suicide attempt. however, right at this moment, he didn't care how long it took as he wouldn't be moving a single muscle until he saw his girl's beautiful blue eyes she had inherited from him, open and look right back into his own atlantic blue eyes. he didn't care that he was losing sleep, that he was constantly dehydrated not only from refusing food and drink but also from all the tears he was crying and that his entire body was slowly becoming numb due to staying in the same position day in day out. the poor father was even refusing to work because he didn't want to miss the moment his daughter opened her eyes. he was adamant that his little girl was going to pull through what she had done and that she'd live to fight another day. misha just wanted some belief that his little girl wasn't going to die on him and he'd lose his entire family. he had already gone through that two years prior with his wife, collette's mother, he really didn't want to do that again for a second time because the first time was so traumatic that he wasn't sure if he went through it again if he'd be able to get through it a second time with collette because if misha lost collette, he'd have no other reason to stay alive himself. because, still unbeknownst to collette, she literally and figuratively saved his life. he never wanted his little girl, his precious little collette marie to be subjected to the pain that he had from his wife's death that, it never registered in his mind that his daughter was also in a lot of emotional pain from the loss of her mother that, he ignored it. obviously, unintentionally as he would never intentionally ignore his daughter, ever, but this time, he was just so caught up in himself and his own grieving process whilst trying to stay afloat that, he completely forgot about collette. he forgot that she was going through the same thing but maybe a little bit worse because she was still so young and barely able to understand considering she was only just recently thirteen at the time when her mother, mrs collins, died. 

"...collette, sweetheart...i...i am so sorry!" misha's small, desperate and broken voice apologised, his head resting on his daughter's hospital bed as he begged for the little girl to just open her eyes

"i am so sorry that i was so ignorant of your feelings and how much you were missing mom! i...i just got so caught up in everything that i-" 

"-daddy?" a soft, delicate but barely audible and scratchy voice grabbed misha's attention

straight away, his head snapped up and the second his tired faded blue eyes met with his daughter's matched faded blue eyes, he almost choked on his words

"collette?" his weak voice whispered as collette struggled to push herself up against the hospital's bed frame as misha fully straightened himself out as he was still trying to comprehend what happened

collette's vision blurred as did misha's, as she tried to figure out in her head where she was. then, it finally clicked in her head yet, not what she had done that caused her to be where she was. all she knew...all she allowed herself to remember...was that she was in a hospital in vancouver, canada. 

"my darling girl!" misha's voice cracked as collette moved closer to her dad as he moved closer before they closed the space between as misha embraced his little girl in a fatherly hug that had been way too long overdue

"i...i'm so sorry!" collette whispered into the hug as all misha cared about right now was that his daughter was awake as he knew that for a while, collette would push this back and pretend it didn't exist so, for her, that's what he did as well

"no, it's okay, don't apologise baby girl! you're awake, that's all that matters!" misha cooed as a nurse must have realised that collette was awake as within a couple of minutes, collette was having her vitals checked and was being taken off of oxygen as it was very obvious that she was able to breathe on her own

however, she was having to stay in hospital for a while just to make sure she was safe enough on her own which, she and misha understood perfectly and didn't try to fight against. it just meant that by the time she was discharged and deemed physcologically safe to do so that she'd have a lot of explaining to do, not just to herself but, also to her family back at the supernatural set. 

collette's eighteenth birthday

today was the third anniversary of collette's failed suicide attempt and it was also her eighteenth birthday. which meant that it was also, in two months time, going to be the anniversary of the arguement that the father and daughter had about the suicide attempt. since that day, the two of them have been doing to therapy and, not once was it regretted. it worked so well that not once did the father or daughter hold back and, it brought the two of them inexplicably closer together. 

however, there was one singular thing that stood out to misha the most about his daughter's attempt. it was something she had said at one of the therapy sessions that she had invited uncles jensen and jared to. whilst it was heartbreakingly simple, it made so much sense and everything clicked in the three men's heads. the mantra uncle jared preaches, always keep fighting, had gotten so lost into collette's mind that she had forgotten that whilst permission wasn't needed that she had permission to always keep fighting. all those suicidal thoughts had clouded her mantra of wanting to keep on fighting that they had been distorted that it felt like nothing was working for her anymore that she thought that the only thing she could do was to try and kill herself. 

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misha collette marie collins, my sweet sweet angel. eighteen years ago today, i was given the biggest blessing in the entire world since meeting your wonderful mother. whilst you have gone through so much in the last three years, i couldn't have been any prouder of how you've gotten up off the floor and continued on. you inspire me every single day and i know you inspire every single person in our family and in the supernatural family. i know i always say this but, you are truly the reason why i am able to wake up every morning and smile and the reason i breathe everyday. i know we've had it rough, especially with the loss of mom nearly four years ago now, your suicide attempt three years ago today as well as your eighteenth birthday, but i am so proud of the way you've handled all of these hardships whilst also being so positive at the same time. since that attempt three years ago, you haven't allowed yourself to give up since because you want to prove to that scared little sixteen-year-old that you're strong and that you can do everything and anything you put your mind to. and that is true, you are able to do everything you put your mind to because you are collette marie collins and us collins' never give up, ever! mommy and daddy are so proud of you baby angel, we are so grateful we were blessed with you as our daughter. have an amazing day my love, i hope all of your wishes come true and i am glad i am able to be apart of your wishes. i love you forever baby angel, daddy loves you every single day��🤍

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collettecollins aw dad, you are the sweetest human being i could ever know! thank you so much for being my dad! i never take you for granted, love you most daddy 🤍

jaredpadalecki happy eighteenth collette marie, uncle jared loves you forever and ever 🤍

jensenackles this is so precious. happy birthday my sweet cmc 🤍

robenedict happy eighteenth cmc 🤍

ruthie_connell happy birthday my little angel 🤍

liked by misha,  jensenackles, genpadalecki, jaredpadalecki, dicksp8jr and 11k others

collettecollins aloha cowboy, it's collette collins, texas ranger at your service 🤠🔞🤍

happy birthday cmc. you've been through a lot my darling but, i am so proud of how far you've come since that anxious, suicidal, depressed little sixteen-year-old. you have grown up to be the most gorgeous, loving, strong, intelligent, sassy, hilarious young lady that i could have ever dreamt of growing up to be. sure, you still have three more years until you can legally drink alcohol but, for the most part, you're an adult and you can finally be as silly as you wish to be. just, make sure you're in a safe environment and with your boyfriend, dad and uncles and you're preferably in austin, texas whilst uncle jared is shooting for walker now that supernatural has finished...

it's also been three years since you thought the entire world would be better without you and attempted to take a gun to your left temporal and shoot yourself. you ended up misfiring, thank god, and you shot your shoulder and was in the hospital for around two or so months after. but, you end up being so glad that at eighteen, you survived the attempt. it's not that you regret what you did as you promised yourself from that day forth that you'd never regret anything but, you do wish you tried to talk to someone about it, if not your dad, then uncle jared or uncle jensen. you can't even begin to imagine the thought process that would have been going through the minds of everyone the second they heard and were told about the suicide attempt. just thinking about it now at eighteen gives you nausea and makes you cry so, it's something that you don't like to think about often. but, when you do, you always find yourself apologising. no longer to your dad and uncles but, to yourself for ever feeling that sad that you thought killing yourself was the best option when it's very clear now that, that choice was the worst choice you could have ever tried to make.  

happy eighteenth birthday collette marie collins. you deserve all the happiness in the world, even if it was a mile run, deep underwater swim and a hike to get here, i'm glad you made it safely. i love you forever 🤍

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misha i am so proud of you cmc. this post made me cry reading it but that doesn't matter because you wrote it and you had every intention of sharing it

jensenackles ngl, the supernatural and walker references made me a little teary-eyed...okay fine, the entire post did! happy birthday munchkin! i am so proud of you for continuing on through everything

genpadalecki happy birthday collette 🤍

jaredpadalecki happy birthday my sweet sweet adopted texas ranger. i love you forever and always

dicksp8jr happy birthday mini misha 🤍

fan27 bless your heart collette! happy birthday my love! 

don't forget, it's okay to struggle but it is not okay to stop fighting. a wise man once told me to always keep fighting and i hope you do the same! 

- - - 

ok, whilst this was sad, i'm glad that it got happier and that i did a three-year time skip even though i didn't mean for that to happen. i really like this chapter! 

ok ily bye xx

wc; 5359

[pearwaldorf]

One thing I have never understood about Twitter is the way people will keyword search a person's name and swan into somebody's mentions to scold them about... whatever. wildehack and I were talking about the Misha Collins nonsense and we were accused of misreading the situation because something something queer Castiel idek.

When I start picking fights with strangers on the internet, I know for me personally it's a sign I need to not be on social media and should go do literally anything else. I'm certainly not going to convince anybody to my side doing this. It's one thing if you're just targeting somebody to vent your spleen but I would really like people to understand that's what they're doing.

The person you're stanning isn't going to magically catch wind of this and thank you for defending their honor, because that's fucking weird to do for a grown-ass adult. Go watch paint dry, pet a furry creature, do literally anything else and think about why you feel this is necessary.

[cockbiteproductions]

if you told me a month ago i would be 4.5 seasons into supernatural again i would’ve shot you AND YET.

[dameferre]

beekeeperoscar replied to your post “i would really appreciate it if people could stop unironically...”

Do you remember that tweet by that blond midwestern lady that was like “"it’s 20whatever, you’re in the kitchen and your husband comes up and smacks your butt as you’re unplugging the crock pot full of buffalo dip, something about beer pong, the kids are laughing in the livingroom, it’s super bowl sunday and your heart is full”? He looks like he would be the husband that’s smacking the ass. He looks like he sells homeowners insurance, and cares too much about his lawn. He looks like a man that can’t fix a dripping faucet and throws a tantrum while trying to assemble Ikea furniture. He looks like his wife buys all his underwear and he hates all of them, but also won’t go out of his way to buy his own, so he’s just always angry about it a little bit deep inside Couldn’t you at least be into a guy that looks like. I don’t know, a sexy mailman?

im actually fucking sobbing oscar this is the funniest thing i’ve ever read in my life. everything about it, the underlining tone of both judgment and concern, like you’re not angry but you are disappointed, the fucking drag of the century, its all hilarious

i know there’s nothing i can Truly say in my defence but i would like to present the following:

i did imply i was Unhappy to remember my attraction to this man (and i am. i Really am)

i know this doesn’t help my case but as i did used to be obsessed with him at 15 i still remember that he wasn’t really the midwestern, toxic masculinity type, he did (does?) a bunch of charity work and always seemed like. a fucking weird & alternative person

i really cant believe im doing this w my morning i have work in an hour but i feel i have to defend my honor and taste (or lack thereof, but you know what i mean) in men so i’m diving into his insta & he is actively, aggressively anti-trump and was really encouraging his fanbase to vote blue, even going so far to hold zoom interviews w female democrat candidates & be like ‘these fictional characters yall are obsessed with would vote for these progressive female politicians go vote for them too’, & he like. did a bunch of stuff for blm and he does still do a ton of charity work for a variety of causes

like i dont know how to prove it but i promise of the myriad crusty-ass spn men to obsess over @15yo i definitely chose the best one

when i talk about remembering my attraction i dont mean like. now misha collins who is a Rough 46 (he’s only 46?? jensen’s only 42?? jared’s only 38?!?!? these white men aged Punishingly holy shit) i mean young, first-season cas misha, which was. better. at least

and im not Actively into him!! i’m just. remembering that old attraction, like when you see an ex a lot and you’re like ‘...oh yeah. that’s why i was young and stupid for you’, because so many people are being spn blogs on main right now and it’s bizarre

in conclusion you are correct but it’s not As Bad as it could be??? maybe??

[i-roll-my-eyes]

Me:

Maybe if I look at him long enough, he won’t be that pretty anymore.

Yeah, fuck, this backfired....

[jkbabiey]

PAC: What will be your future spouse's first impressions of you?

Hey! I've decided to create a PAC game for y'all. Welcome!

This will be about what your future spouse will think of you in your first meeting.

There will be 4 groups. You should choose the one you feel more drawn to (if there's more than one group that's drawing you in, you can choose more than one). Each pile will describe what they feel when they first see you. I also channeled a quote and a song that will give off the same vibes they'll get when they see you.

How to choose: Close your eyes and focus on the question of what will your future spouse think of you when they first see you. When you open your eyes, try to look at the different groups and see, intuitively, what group is calling your name. Follow your intuition.

THE GROUPS:

Group 1

Your cards: King of Wands (rev), The World, Page of Cups, Ace of Cups, Queen of Swords

Your future spouse will definitely think of you as a very youthful and creative person. They will see you as a breath of fresh air and they'll automatically think you're the cutest. I think they will see you as a very intelligent, yet, very inexperienced person. Your future spouse will look at you and think that you're very motivated and absolutely goal-oriented. They may even envy you a little bit because they'll think you're way too put together for your age (???). Maybe there's an age gap between you two, for some of you (because I'm hearing 'I wasn't like that when I was their age' - so they may admire you for that). They may think of you as 'perky', I'm seeing. I think they'll also notice how witty you are, like kinda sassy but in a very playful and youthful manner. Your energy kind of reminded me of Arizona Robbins from Grey's Anatomy (???) -- maybe you should check that out. They may see you as the type of person who thinks the world is pink - if you know what I mean. Like, maybe you daydream a lot, so they got that impression of you. But on the other hand, I'm also seeing that they may be impressed by your wittiness and intelligence. They'll want to know more about you. You will intrigue them.

(Sorry that your reading was a bit shorter than the others, but this message was very clear and direct, so it wasn't very difficult to explain. :))

“Such aching mystery hides, in your stardust-glimmer eyes.”

- John Mark Green, Taste the Wild Wonder: Poems

Group 2

Your cards: The Lovers (rev), Queen of Wands, Temperance, Page of Cups, Page of Swords

Another intelligent group. Your future spouse will, right off the bat, see you as a very intelligent and interesting person. They will see you as a very strong person with very good debate skills and a clear speech. The first time they see you you may not be talking directly to them, but to someone else or to a group of people, and they listen to you and admire what you're saying - something like that. I'm also getting that your future spouse may think you're somewhat ahead of your time. Like you don't belong to this era because your mind is so ahead of the rest. You may be a futuristic person, always thinking ahead. On the other hand, your future spouse will also admire the way you can be so gentle with your words. You may have a very gentle aura or way of speaking, or maybe a very airy voice, idk. I think they'll admire the patience you have with everyone around you.

I think this is the group that attracts secret admires :) Your future spouse may be someone who will be crushing on you from afar for a loooong time. You may even catch them staring at you sometimes. BECAUSE THIS PERSON WILL HAVE THE HOTS FOR YOU. The cutest part is that they won't be crushing on you JUST because of your appearance, it will be most of all, due to your brain and personality. CUTE!

“Reading your note, at our table, in my voice, I heard you were ready to accept my love, Which, of course, changes everything.”

- Misha Collins, Some Things I Still Can't Tell You: Poems

Group 3

Your cards: Page of Pentacles (rev), Ace of Wands, The High Priestess, Strength, The Emperor

Your future spouse may be quite spiritual, and I'm getting that their first thought about you is that you also seem very spiritual. I'm thinking that they may think of you as a person who exudes a very special aura. And they may fantasize about you. That escalated quick. I'm getting that this person may have a few fantasies about you tbh, but not necessarily naughty ones. I'm more inclined to the cutesy stuff. This person may think you two have a lot in common and they'll actually fantasize about what it would be like to talk to you and get to know you.

Besides that, I'm also getting they may see you as a very secure person, you may make this person feel secure and cared for. They feel comfortable in your presence, I think. This person may think you are a very accomplished person too. That is coming very strongly - They will feel very comfortable with you.

I don't know why but I'm getting best friends to lovers kind of shit. Maybe your future spouse was your friend, and you two will get closer and it will grow into something more. Cute.

I heard that you may be the only one who is able to calm this person down when they're stressing out. They feel calm next to you.

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

- John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Group 4

Your cards: The Devil, Queen of Wands (rev), The Star, Judgement (rev), The Hanged Man (rev)

So we have our first group with bad first impressions. You may not like what I'm gonna tell you but it's what the cards are telling me, love.

Your future spouse may be judgy of you at first sight. I'm getting that this person may judge you because of your past in the first meeting. You may meet this person after a rough period in your life in which you're taking time to analyze yourself and get back on track but this person may see that as a weakness. They may also think, that you think you are better than those around you. I think that your future spouse may not like you right after meeting you because they'll see you as someone who thinks you're better than other people.

Now, I'm not saying that's the case, but they may think it is.

They may also think you're quite arrogant, tbh.

In all honesty, I don't think that's the case at all. I'm getting that when you meet this person, you may have just gotten through some bad experiences, like a toxic relationship or something like that, and you are beginning to realize your real worth. Let's say that, due to this recognition of self-worth and the bad experiences you've been through, you will kind of build some "walls" around you in order to protect yourself. You won't let people get as close to you as you used to. These may lead other people to think you're cold or rude sometimes. And I think that will be the case for your future spouse.

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

That was the game, sweeties!! Hope you like it! I'll probably make a few more of these - such a fun experience!! TAKE WHAT RESONATES!!

<3

[fandomtherapy44]

castiel x reader

Summary: This story is from the perspective of Y/n Winchester. The sister Of Sam and Dean. We will be starting from season four since sadly we did not get Misha Collins as Castiel throughout the whole series. It will start off as a friendship, but it will grow more as the series goes on. I will be skipping some episodes even though they are great episodes they do not push the story forward. I am so excited to get to write this since they are not many Castiel X reader stories out there. Okay without further due Love War & Grace enjoy the Story.

Paring: Castiel X Reader

Word count: 3,330 words

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season four of Supernatural, Reader gets hurt

Chapter 9: On The Head of a Pin

POV:Y/n

Another person died, another life lost to this stupid war between things, and a possible coming of Satan that theoretically should not even be real! And she's dead because of me. I keep on thinking about this on repeat. That I'm not even paying attention to the tense conversation going on between my two brothers.  “Y/n did you hear me?” Sam asked me from looking at the rear-view mirror. My eyes were starting to tear up from me staring at the window without blinking and things were becoming blurry. “Huh? What?” He kind of huffs. 

“I said Ruby will meet us outside Cheyenne. She's been tracking some leads. I know she's not exactly on your Guys Christmas list, but if she can help us get to Lilith—” Of course it's Ruby. My favorite person along with Alice from Hell-land. “Look Sam I couldn't really give a rat's ass. If you work with her or not. "I said back tired of this bullshit because of Ruby. “I agree with her.” Dean said as he looked back at me nodding letting me know he was standing with me. “What's your guy's problem?” “Pamela didn't want anything to do with this and we dragged her back into it, Sam. I did.” I said back at him quickly, getting madder at myself and slowed down thinking about my words. 

“She knew what was at stake.” Sam responded and, in that moment, I really just wanted to scream. “” She knew what was at stake.” you know what, fuck off Sam a person should not have to practically die every time they help us, we’re doing such a damn good job! So, Pam dying was totally not in vain.” I finished with a tear running down my face. Both boys look at each other than at me. “Y/n-” “I'm so tired of burying friends Guys.” “Look, we catch a fresh trail—” Sam said, trying to move on. “And we follow it, we know. Like we said, we’re just—we’re just getting tired.” Dean answered for us. “Well, get angry.” Sam responded. Oh, I'm basically the hulk at this point.

We get our room keys and all I want to do is get drunk and cry myself to sleep but I guess someone else had a different Idea. “Ah, Home crappy home” Dean said dis heartedly flipping on the lights. Just once it would be nice to have a room that didn't look and smell like it was made by a drunk guy who hadn’t showered in three days. When the lights come on their standing is Cas and my bestie Uriel. “Winchesters” Uriel said with a hint of disgust. “Oh, come on.” Dean said in return. "You are needed.” Needed really, we can’t ever catch a break huh? “Needed? We just got back from needed.” Dean said standing up for us while I was trying to keep myself from going full Winchester on Uriel. “Now, you mind your tone with me.” Well, I tried. 

“No, you mind your damn tone with us.” I said, stepping up to Uriel. “We just got back from Pamela's funeral.” Sam said adding in to drive the fact into these Angels that a life was just lost for their stupid war. I kept it going. “Pamela. You know, psychic Pamela? You remember her. Cas, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times. Yeah, then she died saving one of your precious seals. So maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for five freaking minutes!” I know Cas didn't mean for that to happen but in that minute all I saw was red and I was ready to start my own war.

“We raised your brother out of hell for our purposes.” Dean stepped next to us. “Yeah, what were those again? What exactly did you want from me?” “Start with gratitude.” Ok I'm about to go WWE on him. “Dean, we know this is difficult to understand.” Cas said to him trying to reason with him. “And we—” Uriel looked at Cas in a very weird way and he looked back. “—don't care. Now, seven angels have been murdered, all of them from our garrison. The last one was killed tonight.” Uriel finished in a very serious voice. Wait Angels being murdered dammit now I got to care for Cas's sake now if it was just Uriel, I could live with that. “Demons? How they doing it?” Dean questioned and how do we know it was demons I mean I guess it makes sense, but could they be that careless and dumb never mind, Ruby is one of them. 

“We don't know.” “I'm sorry, but what do you want us to do about it? I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?” Sam said to them, and he was right, we are just humans. “We can handle the demons, thank you very much.” God I just want to smack that smug look off his face. “Once we find whoever it is.” Cas said, diffusing the tension. “Ha So you need our help hunting a demon? Now that’s funny” I said walking closer to Uriel. "Not quite. We have Alastair.” Cas said, looking at me. “Great. He should be able to name your trigger man.” Dean said to them hinting that they don't need us. “But he won't talk. Alastair's will is very strong. We've arrived at an impasse.” Okay so what do they need? 

“Yeah, well, he's like a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of your league.” Dean said to them. “That's why we've come to his student. You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got.” Uriel finished and I am filled with more rage first this angel insults me and now he wants my brother to do torture and if he does, I know it will torture his own soul. “Dean, you are our best hope.” Cas said to him pleading I know he would not be asking this if Uriel was not here. “No. No way. You can't ask me to do this, Cas. Not this.” Uriel walks up to him, and I know what he is about to do so I grab Dean’s hand. “Who said anything about asking?” And we disappear.

We drop into this room and Uriel comes barking at me. “How dare you go against the direct order of God you cockroach.” “How dare you think I would let you kidnap my brother and force him to do this you chicken wings.” I said getting right back in his face. Cas comes in between the two of us.”Y/n Will stay.” “No, she will not.” “I'll just walk back here every time, Uriel, so either leave me alone or you spend the whole night trying to get rid of me your choice.” I said standing victoriously. Dean did not say anything; he was too distracted by the room.

“This devil's trap is old Enochian. He's bound completely.” Cas said about what Alastair was in trapped by. “Fascinating.” Dean said, walking away. “Where's the door? Come on Y/n.” “Where are you going?” Cas questions. “Hitch back to Cheyenne, thank you very much.” We start to walk but Uriel blocks us. “Angels are dying, boy.” “Everybody's dying these days. And hey, I get it. You're all-powerful. You can make me do whatever you want. But you can't make me do this.”

“This is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it.” I don’t know what is up with Cas, but I know he does not want this as much as us. “We want to talk to Cas alone.” Dean said, turning to Uriel. “I think I'll go seek revelation. We might have some further orders.” “Well, get some donuts while you're out.” Dean said back to him. “Ah, this one just won't quit, will he? I think I'm starting to like you, boy.” Before he leaves, he gives me a glare. And I give him the middle finger.

“You guys don't walk enough. You're gonna get flabby.” Dean jokes. “You know, I'm starting to think Junkless has a better sense of humor than you do.” He said referring to Cas. “Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.” Wow, they really need to get some basic cable tv. “Tell Uriel, or whoever...you do not want me doing this, trust me.” Dean asked, pleading with Cas. “Want it, no. But I have been told we need it.” Told? “You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out.” “For what it's worth, I would give anything not to have you do this.” “Dean, you don’t have to do this.” I told him with my whole heart. “Yes, I do Y/n not just for the Angels but for myself I'll be okay.” He said hugging me and kissed my head. He let’s go and walks towards the torture table.

Dean has been locked in the room with Alistair for about thirty minutes and all Cas and I have been hearing moans of pain. I break the silence. “What's going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?” He looks at me like he is a little ashamed. “My superiors have begun to question my sympathies.” “Your sympathies? What the fuck does that even mean?” “I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment.” I go to sit on the big middle table and pat the side to me for him to sit. And he does. “Look Cas that sympathy that you feel is good, it means that you have your own thoughts and feelings. It is what makes you well you. Also screw Uriel and every other Angel like him. And well I wouldn't be friends with you if you weren’t.”

 He gives me a warm smile and our hands are right next together and our pinkies are almost touching. Just then the lights explode, and we jump off the table and their standing is Anna. “Anna.” “Hello, Castiel, Y/n.” Anna said to us. I'm surprised she’s not dust condensing the last time we saw her she exploded in light. “Your human body—” “It was destroyed, I know. But I guess I'm sentimental. Called in some old favors and…” She gestured to her body. Alistair screams louder and we all look to the door. “You shouldn't be here. We still have orders to kill you.” Cas said to Anna with an intense look. “Somehow, I don't think you'll try. Where's Uriel?” “He went to receive revelation.” “Right.” “Why are you letting Dean do this?” she asked Cas with emotion. 

“He's doing God's work.” He responded back I didn’t say anything I wanted to see what he would say. “Torturing? That's God's work? Stop him, Cas, please. Before you ruin the one real weapon you have.” She was right but Cas had to see that for himself. “Who are we to question the will of God?” “Unless this isn't his will.” “Then where do the orders come from?” “I don't know. One of our superiors, maybe, but not him.” “These orders are wrong, and you know it. But you can do the right thing. You're afraid, Cas. I was too. But together, we can still— “She goes to touch his hand, but he pulls away.

“Together?” He yanks away his hand. “I am nothing like you. You fell. Go.” Dammit Cas. “Cas.” “Go.” Anna looks at me and we both nod at each other in general respect and she vanishes. Cas looks pissed. “She’s right Cas do you really truly believe this is the will of the loving father you believe so much in.�� “Why can't it be! “He raised his voice at me, and I wanted to yell back but instead I recognized his voice and how there was pain in it. I start to lift my shirt and show Cas. “Why are you doing that?” “Because I want to show you what happens when you have blind faith in something, sometimes it doesn't always be there for you.” I show him my scar. 

“This is from when I was thirteen my brothers were at some sleepover and my dad thought it would be a good idea to go on a hunt when he was coming off a drunken bender and I got slashed by a werewolf was close to death, but he had enough conscience to call nine one one. I just so wanted to spend time with him, so I ran into that forest without hesitation with no plan. The boys don’t even know I didn’t want them to know the only people who do are my joke of a father, Bobby, and well now you. And all this is to tell you is to trust yourself and make sure what you're ever doing is for yourself and no one else." 

I finish with a small smile. We stare at each other for a second before we start to hear grunts from the room. We burst and Dean is getting the shit kicked out of him of a supposed to be strung up Alistair. “Dean!” Alistair throws him to the ground and goes to check on him when Cas goes to fight Alistair and he wasn’t moving. I start to hear chanting and I look to see Cas getting his ass latined by Alistair. So, I come up behind and throw him off. He sets his sights on me. He goes after me, and I dodge and go to punch him, but he catches my hand and twisted it. “Ahh” I am brought down to my knees by the pain. 

“After I kill your Angel boyfriend and your favorite brother I will do ten fold to you what he did to me.” I hear a crack and I scream. “Wow you've got strong bones, it looks like just a sprang, how about we make it broken.” “Get the Hell away from my sister,” It was Sam.

“Stupid pet tricks.” He said to Sam as he pushed him against the wall. “Who's murdering the angels? How are they doing it?” “You think I'm gonna tell you?” “Yeah, I do. "Sam twists his hand. Alastair's eyes roll white, and he chokes. And I watch in horror. “How are the demons killing angels?” “I don't know.” “Right.” “It's not us. We're not doing it.” “I don't believe you.” “Lilith is not behind this. She wouldn't kill seven angels. Oh, she'd kill a hundred, a thousand.” Sam stopped choking him. “Oh, go ahead. Send me back, if you can.” “I'm stronger than that now. Now I can kill.” Excuse me? I watch as gold light flares inside Alastair as he screams. Alastair's host collapses, dead. 

“There you go, now go very easy on it and take pain meds as needed.” The nurse was explaining how to take care of my wrist as if I hadn’t sprung it a billion times, but she doesn’t know that. “How did you do that again?” “Uh, bike accident I’m very clumsy.” “Yeah, you might want to stay off the bike.” “Yup you are totally right, thanks again.” I get up and walk out of the little room I was in. 

Knock knock “Hey how’s he doing?” I ask Sam as if I didn’t know the answer. “Uh good as you can be on a breathing tube how about you?” “Well Alistair was right about one thing; it was just a sprang guess I do have strong bones.” I said trying to lighten the mood as much as possible. I notice that Sam is not really looking at me but behind me. It was Cas walking away, Sam and I followed. 

“Sam—” “Get in there and heal him. Miracle. Now.” “I can't.” “What do you mean You and Uriel put him in there— “I said to him. “No.” “—because you can't keep a simple devil's trap together.” Sam was right. “I don't know what happened. That trap...it shouldn't have broken. I am sorry.” I know he was. “This whole thing was pointless. You understand that? The demons aren't doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers.” “Perhaps Alastair was lying.” Cas said, trying to justify in a way what just happened. “No, he wasn't.” Sam walks back to Dean with that. “Remember what I said Cas trust yourself.” I linger for Second looking at him and walk back to Dean.

Sam and I are now just waiting for Dean to wake up and I realize I should probably call Bobby and tell him what happened, but I don’t have my phone neither does Sam we were too concerned about getting Dean to the ER. “Uh, can I have the keys I need to get the phones.” “Here, be careful.” Sam called out to me as I was walking out the room “Always am.”  

I walk into the elevator down into the car garage and the lights start to flicker. Note to self-check for ghost readings when you get back up. I walk to the car about to open the door when I see a reflection of Uriel. “It’s all because of you!” I turn around and he looks pissed more than usual. “What are you talking about Uriel?” He was getting closer. “Ever since he’s met you, he has been disobedient!” “Woah this is about Cas! for the last time he his not your fucking Dog!” He then hits me down. “He was a loyal soldier then he met you little slut.” I kicked him up. 

“You can call me whatever you want but Cas. Punch Is. Punch Not. Punch A. Punch Dog.” He grabs my hand. “Ah I see a sprained wrist, why don’t I heal it for you.” He slowly twists it until it breaks. “AHHH!!!” “Aww that hurts huh this could have all been avoided if you had left him alone. He could have helped me.” “What … are … you…talking … about.” I said between bloody breaths. “You killed the angels, didn’t you?” “Yeah, I did and I'm about to add one small stupid human to the list. I'll just tell Cas you were killed by a demon. He’ll be sad but hopefully he can turn that into bloodlust.” He is about to stab me but instead he is. It’s Cas, Uriel drops. “Oh Y/n I'm so sorry.” I look up and go running into his arms and hug him tight. “I thought… I thought I was dead.” He hugged me back. 

We walked back into the hospital, and I was lipping. “Oh my gosh did you get on a motorbike!” It was the nurse from before. “Yeah, something like that.” They took me to a room and Cas looked worried and I gave him a smile. 

“What the Hell, so Uriel huh.” It was Sam. “Yeah he was secretly for team apocalypse if not for Cas I would-.” “Well, you're not you're still my annoying little sis right” “Yeah” “I should probably go tell Dean and hope he doesn't freak.” “Oh, come on Sam he is Dean Winchester he is definitely going to freak.” We both laugh. “You'll be, ok? For a few minutes.” “I'll be fine.” He gives me his goofy smile and walks away. Cas walks in.

“Hey.” “Hi.” “How are you doing?” He asked me. “Oh good, the strong pain meds really help.” He looked sad. “Look, this wasn’t your fault.” “Yes, it is I should have seen-” “You couldn't have seen anything. I would rather have a hundred broken wrists than not stand up for you” “You shouldn't have too” “But I will always for the people I care about.”

Hey everyone, hope you all are having a good day and that you enjoyed this chapter! I think that was our first hug of many with Cas. So, the next episode is it’s a terrible life which should be fun to write a different version of Y/n. Also, I am going to post a playlist for y/n on Spotify to add to the story so listen if you like!

NEXT

[trektraveler]

Nightingale Chapter Sixteen: The Fourth Wall

Summary: Jensen Ackles seemed to have it all. A hit television series fifteen years running, a budding music career and a stunning wife. To the casual observer, his life was perfect. But it was a façade. No more real than the supernatural world created on a soundstage.

That day on the lake had started with uncertainty, but when he pulled you from the water everything became clear. The truth was, he’d been the one drowning.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x Reader, Jensen x You

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Misha Collins, Reader

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Drowning, Fluff, Angst, Smut, unprotected sex

Chapter Sixteen: The Fourth Wall

Word Count: 4176

Author’s Notes: This is a complete work of fiction about a real life person. The circumstances are totally made up and are in no way a commentary on the fantastic Jensen Ackles or his family.

This is also a unique reader insert story as I have given the reader a physical description including hair color, eye color and body type. Hopefully you can still lose yourself in the utter fantasy where Jensen is the hero and you are ripe for rescuing!

Additional Notes: The response to this story has been beyond my expectations! You guys have been the best! Thank you for continuing to read my work and encourage me, its kept my eye on the prize :) Additional Additional Notes: THANK YOU! Seriously... thank you all for sticking around for this. Some of you know the struggles I've been dealing with , some of you don't, but it doesn't matter. I am grateful for the support of each and every one of you who keeps coming back to read this story. This chapter really gave me trouble, I hope it was worth the wait.

Series Masterlist

     Both your phone and Jensen’s buzzed at the same time.  You knew who it was before you even looked.

     “Solomon,” he said, scrolling through the details of the text.  “Jesus.  This itinerary reads like a weekend convention circuit.  Seriously, who goes out this much?”

     “Breakfast and strolling at the Ester Short Park farmer’s market.  Tour of the Van Dusen Botanical Gardens.  Coffee at Shaughnessy’s.  Window shopping downtown.  Couples’ yoga.  Oohh!  Tickets to Hamilton on Friday night!”

     Jensen’s brow crinkled and those little disapproving brackets appeared at the corners of his mouth.  “Yoga?  Seriously?  I don’t have that…”

     You lifted a shoulder in a shrug, “Couples Tantric Yoga at Good Vibrations Studios.  Wow… the room is heated to 105 degrees to sweat in tandem with your partner.  Open your chakras and your bodies to this intimate practice first discovered in the unpublished Kama Sutra.  Wow, I didn’t know they bent that way…”

     That had him grabbing your phone.  “Seriously?!  Fucking Solomon signed us up for sweaty sex yoga?!” 

     The indignant bluster blew out of his sails a moment later and you broke into laughter. 

     “You’re hilarious,” he deadpanned.

     Your mischievous grin only grew, “You seem disappointed!  Why don’t we call and see if they can squeeze us in to the class on Sunday?”

     You made a grab for the phone, and he held it over his head, out of reach.  Dodging your hands and tickling you at the same time.  Your attempts to tickle him back had no effect and only made him double his efforts.  Torturing you until you were practically crying with giggles.  Suddenly, he hoisted you over his shoulder, bouncing you a bit as he walked through the apartment. 

     “Jensen!  That’s cheating!”  You laughed as you squirmed in his grasp.

     He tossed you down on the bed in a giggling mess then threw himself down beside you.  “There’s no cheating when there’s no rules, Sweetheart.”

     You tried to catch your breath as he moved strands of blonde hair away from your face.  “You aren’t even ticklish.”

     “Used to be, my older brother would sit on me and torture tickle me until I peed my pants.”

     “How’d you get over it?”

     “I found ways to distract myself,” he murmured, his eyes flickering over your face. 

     “Mind over matter?”

     “Something like that.”

     The two of you had shared countless kisses, but you never grew tired of them.  Your heartrate kicked up the moment his lips touched yours, excitement heating your blood the same today as it did the first time.  His strong hands roamed your body, seeking out the secret places that responded so readily.  You yielded to his touch and surrendered on a sigh. 

     He ended the kiss before he could get too carried away.  The FBI had the whole place bugged and the two of you agreed early on that there would be no sex until this mess was behind you.   He pulled you up against him and placed a kiss to your hairline.

     “Better?”

     You nodded, relaxing into his embrace.  Your eyes closed as he threaded his fingers through your hair and gently massaged the nape of your neck.  He always did that when your migraines were bad.  Once your concussion healed, they were practically gone but with all the stress of the investigation, they were back with a vengeance. 

     “I’m sorry,” you murmured into his chest.  “About earlier.”

     “It was an understandable reaction, that guy came up out of nowhere.  I didn’t even see him come up behind us.”

     “I nearly had a panic attack in the middle of the street.  I probably traumatized your poor fans.”

     “Yeah, well I traumatize them every Thursday night so, they’re used to it by now,” Jensen joked, moving his hand to stroke your back.  “How can I help, baby?  Tell me what I can do to make it better.”

     “I don’t know if it can get much better.  I mean, Solomon sends us pictures of the under-cover agents every day.  Both of us are wearing tracking devices.  This place is completely wired and under surveillance.  Everything we do is planned out to the last detail.  I know we are as safe as we can be I just… I can’t stop thinking about him.”  Your chest immediately grew tight, and you fought to keep your breathing under control.

     “Every time we leave this apartment, I’m looking for him.  I’m searching the faces of everyone we pass, wondering if the next one I see will be his.  I feel like a little kid, scared of the boogey man is hiding in the closet!”

     “Is that why you’ve been leaving the bathroom light on at night?”

     “Maybe,” you muttered.  “I know it’s stupid.”

     “It’s justified.”

     “Maybe,” you said again.  “I wish I could be as calm as you are in crowds.  It never seems to rattle you.”

     “Oh, I’m rattled, believe me.  But I’ve got a job to do, and I just focus on it.  Nothing is more important than that, everything else falls away.”

     “You mean acting?”

     “I mean taking care of you,” he curled a finger under your chin, coaxing your gaze to meet his.  “We’re in it together.  Every day, it’s you and me, Sweetheart.”

     “Stronger together.”  You said it at the same time he did.  It had become your mantra over the past two weeks. 

     It was your prayer to each other.  You said every time you set foot outside of the safety bubble of your apartment.  Every time the two of you stopped for pictures with fans.  Every time the paparazzi followed the two of you through a public park or into a restaurant.  Every time you needed reassurance, Jensen would squeeze your hand and whisper it in your ear. 

     It worked well to calm your nerves.  At first.  But as time dragged on with no sign of Arthur Green, the pressure and anxiety built.  You were jumpy, bordering on paranoid.  When that aggressive fan popped up as you were crossing the boulevard, it triggered a reaction so severe that Jensen’s magic phrase didn’t work.  You were so shaken up that the two of you went directly home, despite not completing the daily agenda.

     “I just wish I could do a better job in all this.  I know I’m supposed to look happy and carefree… Green’s never going to show himself if he thinks this is a trap.”  You sighed and fiddled with the buttons on Jensen’s shirt.  “I’ve never had much of a poker face.”

     “Everyone has a poker face; you just have to find your focus.  That’s all acting is, really.  Keeping your focus.”

     “I guess that’s why you’re the actor and I’m the doctor.”

     A thoughtful look crossed his face, as if he’d just realized the answer to a difficult crossword.  His clear, green eyes lit with enthusiasm, and he sat up, tugging you with him.

     “Come on, I’ve got an idea.”

     “What are we doing in your closet?” You asked from your cross-legged position on the carpeted floor.

     Jensen closed the door and stuffed a rolled-up towel against the threshold so that not even a sliver of light could peek through.  “We’re creating the fourth wall.”

     “What?”

     He walked to the bank of drawers along the back wall and searched through the contents.  “It’s an old actor’s trick, you’ll see.”

     He returned with one of his silk ties in his hand.  It was a subtle blue on blue paisley pattern that he wore on one of your dates ages ago.

     He handed it to you and sat on the floor across from you, folding his bowed legs up with a grunt. 

     “I love this tie.”

     “I know you do,” he smiled softly at you.  “Do you remember that night?  That little Italian place around the corner from your hospital?”

     “Of course, I do.”

     It had been a week since you and Jensen reconciled.  You held strong to your decision not to move back in with him.  You were determined to take things slow and not fall back into old patterns.  You wanted this to last, you both did and that meant rebuilding trust.  The man didn’t make it easy though! 

     For his part, Jensen was the perfect gentleman.  Sweet, attentive, respectful, funny, charming.  Good morning texts and calls during his down time on set.  He invited you over for dinner midweek, made your favorite spaghetti and even sent you home with leftovers for lunch.  There were bone melting kisses and hand holding, but he never initiated anything more.  He wanted you to set the pace. 

     On Friday, you arrived at work and found a shallow planter the size of a hubcap overflowing with an array of tiny, blue flowers waiting for you.  Along with a card.

     Have a great day, gorgeous! – Love, J

     Val came up beside you, her eyes wide, “Wow!  Who sent you those?”

     You grinned and ran your fingers over the bright, bell-shaped blossoms.  “They’re from Jensen.”

     “Really?  Anniversary or apology?”

     You slipped the small card into the pocket of your lab coat, “Neither.”

     “Come on, he must have done something.  No guy sends…. What kind of flowers are they?”

     “Bluebonnets.  Texas Bluebonnets.”

     “Right.  Anyway, there’s a reason for them.  You just don’t know what it is yet.”

     You floated through your whole shift.  Not even Val’s cynicism could dampen your mood.  You didn’t have time to send Jensen anything more than a thank you text, but you were determined to show your appreciation.  Maybe you’d invite him over for dinner at your place.  Best to order in, given your abysmal cooking skills.  Or maybe just dessert…

     You were just about to clock out when you were paged over the intercom.  You picked up line four holding for you.

     “This is Doctor Baines.”

     “Gabs?”

     “Tony, what’s up?”

     “I need you for a consult, do you have a few minutes?”

     “Sure.”

     “Great.  Cardiology, Room 202.”

     A few short minutes later you opened the door to 202, instead of a cardiac patient, you found Jensen.  Looking like he just stepped out of the pages of GQ.  His dark blue suit was tailored, pressed and perfect.  Crisp shirt, matching blue tie and a trio of bluebonnets in his lapel.

     He smiled in that way that made his eyes crinkle and made you melt.  “Hiya Sweetheart.”

     You leaned against the door so that it clicked behind you.  “Mr. Ackles.  You are looking remarkably well for a man in the cardiac ward.”

     “Oh, I’m in rough shape, doc.”  He placed a dramatic hand over his heart.  “My ticker’s going crazy!”

     You bit your bottom lip; he really was too cute!  “Is that so?”

     “Yeah!  Every time I see this girl, it’s like my heart’s going to beat right out of my chest.”

     “Sound serious.”

     “You think so?”

     “Heart palpitations are nothing to dismiss out of hand.”  You pulled your stethoscope from around your neck, “I think I better check you over.”

     “I was thinking the same thing,” he drawled.

     You placed a hand in the center of his chest and firmly walked him backwards, your gaze holding his until the back of his legs bumped the exam table.  Wordlessly, you patted the table.  He lifted himself up with ease, the sterile paper crinkled under his weight. 

     “I hope you won’t mind if I get a little… close,” you said, gently urging his knees apart so you could stand in the vacant space between his legs. 

     His voice dipped deep.  “I’m in your hands.”

     You started with his tie, reaching up to loosen the perfectly executed knot.  A tug and the fine fabric came free easily.  It sounded like a hushed whisper as it moved against the starched shirt to pool in your hand.  His Adam’s apple bobbed as you moved on to the tiny button holding the collar closed.  You knew if you looked at him, your resolve would evaporate, so you concentrated on your task.  Button by button.  Inch by inch.  You stopped halfway to put the earpieces in place and warm the bell of the stethoscope with your breath. 

     You slid the bell against the taut, tanned skin of his pectoral and let it rest over his heart.  A smile curved your lips as you heard his heart thumping, strong and steady.  No better sound in the world.  Although, the longer you kept your hand there, the faster that rhythm got.

     “Your heartrate is elevated.”

     “What do I do, doc?”

     “A little test, see how you respond to stimuli.”

     “Sounds intense.”

     This time you risked looking up, those green eyes of his had turned a shade darker and you felt your own heart leap in response. 

     “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” 

     Keeping the bell anchored over his heart, you leaned up and captured his lips with your own.  Kissing Jensen was as much a revelation today as it was the first time.  He expressed so many things in those moments of intense connection.  Passion and joy.  Exuberant love, romance… sharp desire.  Solace and devotion.  It was the language spoken by souls that met and matched. 

     The kiss deepened, his arms went around you and the staccato beat faster through the earpieces as his heart picked up pace.  Urgency grew.

     You nipped his bottom lip slightly as you pulled away, earning a groan from him.  “You’re killing me, Sweetheart.”

     “Not today.  I can confirm, your heart is in perfect working order.”

     “Good thing, I kinda need it.”  He snagged the stethoscope from you with a smirk, “My turn.”

     Not one to shrink from a challenge, you hopped up beside him, “Do your worst, Doctor Ackles.”

     Somehow, he made the mundane tools of your profession look incredibly sexy.  You didn’t exactly have a doctor kink, but you’d develop one in a hurry if he kept it up.  A serious look swept over his features, and you knew you were in trouble.  In measured movements, he slipped his hand holding the bell under the scoop neckline of your shirt. 

     You knew the moment he found his mark because his face transformed to reflect wonder.  It was an incredibly intimate act to hear the life thrumming in another human being.  He simply listened, as if he was trying to memorize it, hear the music of it.  You were so mesmerized by his experience that you failed to notice his other hand until it found your breast.

     You gasped. 

     His eyebrows rose a fraction, but did not move his hand, “Everything okay?”

     At your nod, he smiled and continued.  Monitoring your heartrate as he explored the curves and concaves he knew so well.  Noting how the rhythm increased when he ran his thumb over the nipple straining under the layers of cotton.  How the beat skipped when his tongue found that secret place just below your earlobe.  Hot kisses down the column of your neck to the hollow where your clavicles met brought your hands up to rake through his hair.  He sucked the skin slightly while his hand traced the inner line of your leg.  Your heart galloped along wildly and when he palmed you through your scrubs, you breathed his name.

     Your head fell back, “Jensen…”

      An annoying beep from his jacket pocket that broke the spell.  He stopped ravishing you long enough to check his phone, “Ooh!  We gotta go!”

     You sat up dazed and trying to catch your breath, “Go?  Now?”

     He hopped off the table and straightened his suit, smoothing out the wrinkles caused by your make-out session.

     “Reservations at Marco’s.”

     You eyed him suspiciously, “You… did you deliberately get me all excited just to tease me?”

     His shrug was innocent, but the sparkle in his eyes gave him away.  He held a hand to you, “I just wanted to make sure you had a good appetite worked up.”

     You took his hand and narrowed your blue eyes at him, “Okay.  But we’re getting dessert to go!”

     “Only if you bring your stethoscope, doc,” he replied while brushing a kiss across your knuckles with a wink.

     “When I was twenty-eight, I was in a live production of A Few Good Men.  I hadn’t performed on stage like that since high school.  And I was really nervous, like shaking in my boots, throwing up backstage terrified!  My parents were there, Danneel was there…  a ton of Supernatural fans showed up too.”

     “You had stage fright?  But you’d been an actor for… what, a decade at that point?”

     “Television is different.  If I screw up, we can just do another take.  A live performance takes a different level of concentration.  People in the audience whisper or forget to turn off their phones.  Someone drops something backstage, or your co-star forgets their lines.  Anything can happen.  That’s where the fourth wall comes in, imagine there is an invisible wall between you and the audience.  That the stage is a completely enclosed.  It’s your world, nothing else exists.  Its just you and whoever you are sharing that stage with.”

     You looked down at the blue tie in your hands, “That sounds like something that comes with practice.  It took you years to perfect your craft, I can’t get to that level in an afternoon.”

     “It’s simpler than you think.  Acting is really just reacting,” he said with a smile, “Besides, you had plenty of cram sessions in med school.”

     “I suppose so.”

     “Good.  Now, I want you to look around this space.  Commit the details of it to memory.  Wall color, carpet color, shelves, racks, shoes… all of it.  Everything you can see.”

     You tried to give him back the tie, thinking it wasn’t part of the exercise and he shook his head, “Nuh uh.  You keep that, you’ll need it.”

     Your brow furrowed slightly, wrapping the tie around your left hand nervously.  You felt like you were failing, and you hadn’t even started.

     Jensen reached out and stilled your hands with his own, “Hey, deep breath.  There’s nothing to worry about.  It’s just you and me here, this is our own little world.  Everything outside that door, that’s them.  No one else can come in here, ever.  We’re safe here.  Just you and me.”

     “Stronger together,” you murmured.

     “Stronger together,” he repeated back.  “Close your eyes.”

     You did as instructed.  He released your hands and sat back, “Deep breath, in and out.  Again.  Good girl, relax.  Let the tension melt from your muscles and drain away.  Deep breath… good.  Very good.”

     You loved his voice; it was warm and had a deep resonance that put you at ease.  The cadence of his instructions had an almost hypnotic quality and you felt yourself sinking into it. 

     “How do you feel?”

     “Good,” you said with a sigh, “Kind of floaty.”

     “The tie in your hands.  How does it feel?”

     You rubbed the material between your fingers, “Smooth.  Cool, like a mountain lake.”

     “Good,” he praised again.  “Now, I want you to picture the closet in your mind.  Put it together with the details you saw only moments ago.”

     You frowned slightly, rubbing the silk in your hands like a worry stone.

     “It’s just you and me here, Y/N.  It’s our world, our safe place.  Tell me what you see.”

     “Clothes.”

     He waited a beat, “Anything else?”

     “Um… the door?”

     “Dig a little deeper, Harvard.”

     “My annoying boyfriend.”

     Jensen held back a sigh, determined not to break the spell.  “Try scent, how does it smell?”

     “Good,” you huffed out in frustration.  The tension was building back up in your shoulders and your ass was starting to fall asleep from sitting on the floor.  You found yourself wondering if it was too late to run away to Bermuda.  You took another deep breath and caught something you hadn’t noticed before.

     “Cedar.  You keep those little cedar balls in the sock drawer.”

     “Yeah, I do.”

     “Tom Ford… um… that vanilla one I like.”

     He grinned, you told him it was your favorite and he bought three bottles just to make sure he always had some on hand.  “Vanilla Tobacco.”

     “Fabric softener, there are dryer sheets in the vents… and there is an air vent somewhere behind me, its blowing on my shirt.  The woodwork in here is light, the rest of the apartment is dark, in here it’s not.  Your clothes are arranged by type and then by color.  Same for the shoes, which you have an insane amount of.  Everything is on those expensive hangers you love so much.  Oh!  And you have two whole drawers devoted to watches.”

     “Good job, open your eyes, Sweetheart.”

     As you did, he took the tie from your hands and cut it neatly in half with his pocketknife.

     “Jay!”

     He took your left arm and tied the narrow end around your wrist, “This tie is your tether to this space.  Every time you feel anxious or scared, I want you to feel that silk against your skin and remember how it felt to be here.  Come back to this safe place where it’s just you and me.”

     He held the other half of the tie out to you along with his left arm.  You followed his example and fastened it around his wrist to match yours.  When you were done, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held on tight, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

     “Thank you,” you whispered.

     Jensen pulled you down to sit on his lap and held you close.

     “I’ve got you,” he vowed, pressing a kiss to your hairline, “Always.”

     Three days later, you and Jensen were at yet another public outing.  This time it was Shakespeare in the park.  At this point you were so sick of concerts, romantic dinners, and date nights that you were ready to tear your hair out.  At least it was your favorite play, Much Ado About Nothing.  Comedy always beats tragedy. 

     The place was packed, no surprise given the beautiful weather.  There were vendors selling everything from Italian Ice to Chicken and Waffles on a stick.  Street musicians busked, kids played in the fountain, couples necked under shade trees, dogs trotted along happily with their owners.  It was idyllic.

     Maybe it was the sunshine or the actor’s trick Jensen taught you, either way, you felt good.  Relaxed.  Even when a group of fans gathered around for pictures and autographs, you felt centered and calm. 

     “Oh my gosh!  You two are so cute together!”  A younger girl gushed.

     “Can we get your picture too?” another asked you, “Are you really a doctor?”

     Jensen pulled you to his side and slung an arm around your shoulders, while you smiled up at him. It was your typical couple in love pose.  He kissed your temple and every girl in eyesight sighed. 

     “I am a doctor.  As a matter of fact, you should get your friend there some water and shade,” you replied motioning to a swaying, giggling girl heading for the margarita truck.  “Maybe no more alcohol for today?”

     “Check out my girl,” Jensen said as the group wandered happily away, “Signing autographs, saving lives.”

     “Saving her from a hangover maybe,” you replied, lacing your fingers through his as you strolled.  “People tend to underestimate the effects of drinking on days like this.”

     “We’ve got about ten more minutes before the intermission is over, want to head back?”

     “Yeah, um maybe hit the bathroom first?”

     You entered the surprisingly empty ladies’ room while Jensen waited for you just outside the door.  You couldn’t wait for this FBI business to be over so you could go to the bathroom alone, like a normal person. 

     You were just washing your hands when the door swung open and a couple of the girls from the earlier group stumbled in, including the drunk one.  You gave a polite nod and stepped out of their way, but it wasn’t quick enough to avoid a collision.  The three of you ended up in a tangle on the floor, two of them giggling and you, definitely not.   

     “Are you two alright,” you asked, trying to keep your composure.

     The tipsy girl threw her head back and laughed, rolling back on the floor.  The other one shook her head in disgust.

     “Ugh, Jesus Suzie!  Bitch never could hold her booze.”

     You felt dizzy.  And unbearably hot!  You tried to get up, but your muscles didn’t respond.  Something wasn’t right. 

     You called for Jensen, but your tongue was heavy in your mouth.  All that came out was a garbled mess.  You felt your heart begin to race as you panicked and your vision blurred.

     “Gee, you seem a little green around the gills, Doctor West.”

     The sober girl was standing at one of the sinks, studying her face in the mirror as she spoke.  Her clothes hung loose on her long, wiry frame.  Choppy black hair framed a thin face with severe features.  Dark eyes, nearly black.  Eyes that were normally behind glasses. 

     Arthur.  “Oh… God.”

     Green dropped to the balls of his feet, a lethal grin twisted his face as he grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked your head back. 

      “Hello again, Y/N.” TAGLIST: @deans-baby-momma @stixnstripesworld @jc-winchester @muchamusedaboutnothing @peterpangirl21 @ficbreaks @teresa-67 @sacriceria @verytoadpapersoul @heartbreak-of-a-marauder @savspersonalproperty @deanwanddamons @jenwinchester40 @perpetualabsurdity @starryeyeseunbyul @sexyvixen7 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @agirlwithdemonblood @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @imthedoctorlove @roonyxx @smellingofpoetry @deanwinchesterswitch @thinkinghardhardlythinking @pink-sparkly-witch @barewithme02 @deadlynightshadeindustries @jc-winchester @mrswhozeewhatsis  @smoothdogsgirl @mrsjenniferwinchester @impalaspixie @chucksfavouriteprophet @imherefordeanandbones

[amberjazmyn]

grecian vacation

𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚛𝚋 - misha comes with you on your family holiday to skopelos, greece

masterlist

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sophie's younger siblings, adelia and theodore were bursting with excitement. purely because their older sister's boyfriend, misha collins, was joining them for this year's summer vacation they took every year. the vacation was to the same grecian island, skopelos. even though misha and sophie had been dating since before adelia and theodore were born, the younger brother and sister of sophie didn't know anything different. adelia, now seven and theodore now five, this was the first time misha was able to join the family due to his job as an actor and how he was finally able to take a break for the summer. and instead of going back to boston to visit his mom and siblings, he decided he couldn't stop putting off the family vacation to greece. plus, he always loved watching sophie dance and sing her heart out to the mamma mia soundtracks, most especially when she did the lay all your love on me dance on the grecian beach. i mean, sophie was named after sophie sheridan from the movie mamma mia so, it just felt right for her to do this every summer when she was in greece. now, she was able to do the songs properly now that misha was with her.

"...look how excited delia and theo are, mish, it's adorable!" sophie whispered to her boyfriend

misha turned his head up from responding to some last-minute texts and his heart melted at the sight in front of him

"aw, that really is adorable!" misha cooed as he ignored the texts on his phone a bit longer just to see the seven-year-old adelia and five-year-old theodore get overly excited about this summer's greece trip

"thank you so much for coming with us, mish! my family are really excited and appreciative!" sophie whispered as the couple cuddled in the car

the parents of sophie, adelia and theodore drove the six of them to the austin airport so they could catch their flight to greece. the flight from austin, texas to skopelos, greece is thirteen hours and five minutes. so, a great deal of time which was something that both sophie and misha did not like. both misha and sophie were not easy fliers but quite nervous fliers. but, it was helpful that sophie and misha were both tired enough from a less than five hour sleep the night before that they quite easily fell asleep. sophie staying asleep for almost the full thirteen hours, waking up with ten minutes left of the flight left. whereas misha slept for around twelve hours after little adelia woke him up because she got scared due to the sudden arrival of turbulence. another reason why sophie was grateful to have misha with him, he was absolutely perfect with adelia and theodore. so, misha easily comforted and eased adelia's fear whilst theodore stayed curled up in-between misha and sophie asleep.

finally, the family plus misha were now in skopelos, greece, where the original mamma mia movie in 2008 was filmed. the excitement was real because misha was now able to finally understand and appreciate the love and spiritual connection that his girlfriend, sophie, had to not only the island but the movies of mamma mia and mammia mia two: here we go again! and he loved the fact that sophie's love for skopelos was so real and strong. it warmed his heart to see sophie get excited the moment she stepped foot off the plane and onto the island.

also, seeing the way sophie's two younger siblings, adelia and theodore also shared the same excitement of being back on the island also made misha's heart sing. the family were now on a boat just cruising around the island's waters when adelia and theodore were in the perfect place for a photo. misha taking the photo, he thought it was the best photo ever and, sophie seemed to agree as she quietly hummed the lyrics of dancing queen by abba.

then, misha and sophie decided that they would just sit at the front of the boat and cuddle. that was when the older brother of sophie, adelia and theodore, who lived in skopelos, took a photo of the couple. and, let's just say, that alongside the photo that misha took of adelia and theodore, were two of the very few photos that were printed from their skopelos vacation 2019.

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i know the photo shows a very young adult man and this is set in 2019 but, ignore it and picture it's misha lol.

ok bye ily xx

word count; 755